Somewhere in Neverland (Lashton)

Ch. 11: All These Thoughts Locked Inside

"Now I'm on my own side

It's better than being on your side

It's my fault when you're blind

It's better that I see it through your eyes

All these thoughts locked inside

Now you're the first to know

When darkness turns to light

It ends tonight."

All American Rejects

Luke and Ashton went to the forest after school on Wednesday. They picked up subway on their way out. They didn't go to their treehouse right away like they usually did. They explored the forest, wandering through the multiple trees and bushes. They held hands as they did so. The forest to them was more than just a piece of nature, it was their escape, their hideout, the one place where they could be themselves. They talked endlessly about anything and everything.

"I feel like my whole life is all planned out for me and I didn't even plan it," Ashton expressed. Luke listened intently.

"My dad's got my college all planned out and my entire football career. But I don't even want to be a professional football player."

"So why don't you tell him?" Ashton stopped walking for a minute and locked eyes with Luke.

"Its the one thing that we can talk about and connect on, and I feel like if I were to tell him the truth, our relationship wouldn't be the same."

"You know, you're gonna have to tell him sooner or later."

"I know."

"So what do you want to have a career in?" Luke asked him.

"I want to be a drummer in a band. But I don't think my dad will be too happy with that career path."

"Who cares what your dad thinks? It's your life not his. You should be able to make your own decisions without constantly having to worry about his input." Ashton and Luke stopped walking as they reached a pond. Trees and bushes were surrounding them.

"And this is why you're my best friend," Ashton said with a smile as he stepped closer to Luke.

"And this is why I'm your boyfriend," Luke said as he connected his lips with Ashton and let his hand wander down to squeeze his ass. The boys chuckled into the kiss and pulled back. They sat down on the grass and just watched the fish swim in the pond. Luke laid down and let Ashton rest his head on his chest. Luke ran his fingers through the boy's hair as they looked up at the diminishing sun. Luke leaned down to leave a kiss in Ashton's hair.

"I wish we could stay here forever," Ashton said.

"Me too."

And Luke wanted so badly to tell Ashton that he loved him but he was too scared. He still wasn't ready yet. He was afraid that Ashton wouldn't feel the same or would be scared off if he told him. So he decided to wait until the time was right.

It hurt Ashton to look at Katie. Everytime they were together, all he could think about was Luke, Luke, Luke. He could tell by the way she looked at him that she was in love with him. And he just wanted to break up with her for good. But he cared about his reputation too much and her. So, he hung out with her more often than he had been out of sympathy but never once did he have sex with her nor say I love you to her. Ashton hated it, he hated it all, he hated lying, he hated hiding, he hated looking at Katie, he hated kissing Katie, he hated that he was falling in love with Luke and that there was nothing he could do to stop it.