Just A Fan (Mini Ladd x Reader)

{4}

Weak

I felt so weak, so useless of everything. Why do people keep using me? I'm not a DAMN TOY!

I punched the wall making it shake a bit, I stayed in that position for a minute or two, I hated this.

I just wanted a normal life with a loving boyfriend or be single with a friend, why must this stupid world be cruel?! Why can't something go right, dang it?

Tears flowed down my cheeks, making it sting a bit. I just cried alone, in my apartment feeling useless as always.

"Why doesn't he love me? I helped him and I get this?!" I kept crying as I slid down to the ground, bringing my knees to my face.

"I still love her" What about me?! I'm a human too! I have emotions too! I hugged my knees as I kept crying, crying, crying, and more crying.

I'm so useless over a boy who doesn't even love me, I wiped the tears away as I sighed, be strong, be strong! I repeated over and over but it didn't work, I'm still weak.

I got up to take off my clothes, I put on some gray sweatpants with a black hoodie, I feel cold and just want to sleep.

DING DING I heard my phone vibrate, I opened it seeing a notification on Twitter, I went to go check it, the thing I saw made my eyes go wide, Craig texted me.

Spoopy Ladd: Hey (Y/N) I'm sorry for earlier, I know you hate me right now but I miss you... I miss hugging your little self, loved how you made fun of how I was scared of something so little. I miss your laugh, when a storm hit and you went in my room to cuddle with me, how I could hold you so tightly close to me. I love you Y/N! I always did once I saw you.

I got furious, how could he say that right after what he did!? He's not forgiven! I texted back with anger on the words.

Username: Oh hey Craig! I'm so not mad at you because of what you did! You know I'll ignore that shit because it isn't important, you know what I hate you! You're just like everyone else, keep me like a toy and throw me out once I'm old or grow tired of me, don't give me that mushy shit, I'm not falling for it! Now bye, forever.

I pressed send, I gave a shaky sigh, I was scared, but why did I send that? "I should apologize" I thought to myself as I got my phone but I saw some bad news.

Spoopy Ladd: Oh, I'm sorry you don't love me anymore, I'm sorry that I treat you badly.. I didn't mean it, I'm stupid to reject a pretty gorgeous girl like you. I'm sorry for everything, I'll leave you forever.

My eyes widened as tears rolled my cheeks, I'm so stupid! I'm fucking bipolar, I slammed my hands on the floor making my bones crack a bit.

I felt liquid on my hand, I looked at it to see it was blood, it smelled very metallic, I cried as I ignored the pain my knuckles had.

I didn't care about anything anymore, I'm so useless... I wish I never met Craig so this wouldn't have happened!! I just wanted a damn normal life! But I just get betrayal, hurt, sadness, anything that is negative.

My mind focused more on the negative side than the positive side, it was like my mind didn't believe in happiness anymore.. And I thought that too.

I sobbed as I held my head, "It's my fault It's my fault it's my fault it's my fault ITS MY FAULT" I screamed as I pounded the floor making nearby objects shake like if it was an earthquake.

"Why must I be so stupid? He's mad at me, heck, maybe already moved on!" More tears spilled out of my eyes.

I'm such a brat, I always whine about everything. No wonder my parents tried to get away from me, no wonder nobody talked to me. I'm useless, I don't deserve anybody.

"Oh wait you have no boyfriend!" Dawn's words kept repeating in my mind as others did too.

"You're so lonely!" "Ew she's dirty! I bet she has bugs!" "Useless" "Weak" "Cry baby"

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I yelled at nothingness as I kept crying, I indeed was weak. I'm on the ground crying because of a boy for crying out loud!

After minutes passed (felt like hours) I got up and went to my bathroom to get the first aid kit.

I found it, I got some wipers and a bandage to wrap up the wound that I had.

I flinched a bit when the water hit my open wound but kept cleaning it as I didn't want it to get infected. Finally, I wrapped it with the bandages.

I went to my bed as I lazily laid on it, I shakily sighed as I pulled the white blankets closer to my body, feeling a bit cold.

"Boys aren't worthy enough for you, Y/N" I told myself as I closed my eyes wanting to rest, and never wake up.

RING RING

I groaned as I tried to find the noise, I finally turned it off and woke up completely.

"Work? Again? Ugh!" I laid back down staring at the dull ceiling above me. I was looking at its texture, being bored and all.

"I should get ready for work" I thought to myself, I swung my legs over my bed as I went to my closet to get my uniform.

I got my uniform and did my hair. I went downstairs to go to my car.

~~~

I entered the shop, I saw Caroline which made me groan mentally. I did not want to talk to this goody-two shoes.

"Hi Y/N" She waved at me which I waved back, giving her a fake smile.

I went to my position just wanting to leave so I can isolate myself in my apartment.

I heard the little bell indicating someone opened the door. I looked up gasping a bit, there in front of me was Nogla.

He waved at me which I did too, "Hey Y/N, didn't expect you to work here" He half- smiled.

"Hey Nogla, how are you holding up?" Recently Berenice and he broke up, it was so sad because they were together for such a long time. Reasoning why they broke up was because being far apart from each other.

"I'm more or so alright, how are you holding up?" He asked as I looked down trying not to cry once more.

"I didn't mean for you to remember him!" I shook my head as I said I was fine.

"Anyways what do you want?" I asked in a polite way.

"I would get a hot coffee" I nodded as I wrote down his name on a cup, I handed it to Caroline as she made his drink.

She gave it to to me which I handed it to Nogla, he payed and waved at me which I did too.

"I wonder if he even cares anymore?" I gripped my shirt as I looked back up.

No! Don't think of him, you promised you'd move on.

I kept on going by my day, ignoring the guy who used me.

~~~~~~~

A/N: This one kinda was bad but I'm sorry! I'm tired right now! Anyways I'll try to update sooner, I'm just making another story too so hopefully you guys understand.
Anyways like and comment! Byeeeee 🌸