Just A Fan (Mini Ladd x Reader)

{5}

~2 Months Later~

I closed my eyes tightly not wanting the tears to flow down my now pale cheeks. It has been 2 months since Craig and I talked. I actually miss him...

It's my fault for this to happen, but he's happy that this happen, right? He's probably with another gorgeous girl laughing with him.

I have been getting panic attacks and my anxiety level is always high or medium, but never low.

My eyes are not bright anymore, they are red and puffy from all the crying. My lips were so cold, even a slight touch and you would feel cold.

My hair was messy from not brushing it more often. My skin was pale, I looked like a walking ghost. Nobody talks to me... Not Nogla, Brian, Jonathan, Tyler none! It was like Craig made them ignore me.

Caroline and I don't talk much, only if it was for work. That's all.

Why does everyone hate me? Was I actually just used? No matter, I don't need them.. I only need myself.

"Nobody cares, nobody will care if you died. So just die already!!"

A tiny voice on my mind said, I laid on my bed as my lips trembled. "Shut up!" I tried to make the voice go away, but it only laughed.

"How useless of a human you are, I pity you for who you are. Easy way to not exist anymore is leaving FOREVER"

I shook my head, "Leave me alone!!" I held my head but I only heard laughs

"Such a useless human, why would Craig or anybody else love you? Look at you? Just a stuttering mistake! HAHAHA"

Laughs could be heard as well as rude remarks, I just want this to end. Please leave me alone..

"Useless" "A mistake" "Should've never been born" "Nobody wants you!" "HAHAHAHAHA" "DIE" "KILL YOURSELF" "IF YOU DIED , EVERYONE WOULD BE SO HAPPY"

I fell on the floor as I gripped my head, "STOP PLEASE!!" I cried as the laughs began fading. Their right, I'm such a mess.. Why didn't mom just get an abortion? She probably looked at me in disgust when I was born. I was an ugly baby.. Ugly mistake.

"Why was I born?"

That question was on my mind yet no answer, it was like an unsolvable question.

My life is sad, people look at me and just want to run away from me.. Am I that bad? Do they think I'm a monster?

I'm insane, I should be put in a mental hospital.. I'm going crazy.

I gripped a piece of my pants as I tried my best to breath normally, I'm having a short panic attack which is so horrible, why do I get all of this?

I gave a shaky sigh as I got up, It's decided, I'm going out to the horrible world.

I went over to my closet as I opened the white door, I simply got blue skinny jeans, a long sleeved black shirt, some boots, and a black hoodie.

It is starting to become more colder, I sighed while leaving my dull apartment.

I looked at the sky seeing dark clouds forming, it felt like it was mocking my feelings right now.