"Hey, what's wrong?" Adam put both hands on my shoulders, steadying me, "Jen. Earth to Jen?"
His voice snapped me out of my thoughts.
What did Annmarie want with Adam? She'd had a chance while her cousin was with him, but he's mine now. Maybe I should just end it, and let her have him no matter how much pain it caused me. But was I willing to give up my happiness for hers? As a matter of fact, isn't that what I did to Lindsey? I gave up her happiness for mine.
"Jen."
"Sorry, I'm just...thinking," I fiddled with my fingers and the solid gold band around my middle one.
"Hey, where'd you get that ring?"
"My dad gave it to me a few years before he died. I found it yesterday, I thought about it since the whole car crash thing. I'm really surprised it still fits," I sighed, knowing Adam was trying to distract me from whatever was bothering me.
"If there's something wrong, could you just tell me?" Adam took my hand and held it between his.
"Did you have a...past with Annmarie?" I decided to get it over with.
"What do you mean? Like a romantic past?" Adam shifted uncomfortably.
We were still in the room with Lindsey's open casket, and there were still a bit of crowd milling around talking and crying. I took a deep breath and replied, "Yes."
"Did she say something?" he furrowed his brow.
"Well, kind've. She said that she's been trying to get with you ever since Lindsey introduced you two. I just wasn't sure if maybe..maybe you did something with her while dating Lindsey?"
"We didn't date, but I kissed her one time."
"Kissed or made out? I know you get those two mixed up.." I laughed trying to lighten the mood but ended up making things more awkward and making me more nervous.
"Kissed. Four of us, Lindsey, me, Annmarie and some dude she brought were all at some club and we were drunk and dancing. The guy she brought along was passed out drunk so we set him a side and started dancing and then we kissed. It wasn't good, as we were both highly intoxicated," Adam looked around the room, searching for Annmarie I assumed.
"I thought you didn't drink," I raised my eyebrows.
"I used to, I used to get really, really drunk at parties and clubs. Until I met Lindsey. She changed me a lot, actually."
"Well, anyways Annmarie said that I should back off and that she's better for you rather than me. She wants you, and I really don't think she'll back off that easily," I bit my lip so hard that it began to bleed in my mouth.
"You're joking."
"Nope," I took in a huge breath and released it, "that's why I think maybe, maybe we should take a little, um, break? I know we haven't dated long, but I think we should maybe just stay away from each other until this whole thing blows over. Who knows, maybe you'll move on during the time?" I looked at the ugly carpeted floor and held back the tears that were attempting to force themselves out.
"Jen, I don't want this, and I really don't believe you do either, but if this is what you think is best then sure. I know I won't move on though," his deep brown eyes locked into mine and I saw one million different emotions all at once; love, longing, dispair, hatred, and most of all, hurt.
I hated seeing him that way.
Seeing his beautiful brown eyes break into a million pieces in front of me.
