One Direction School Preference Series

19. First I Love You's 5/5th

First I Love You's

Niall

"I thought you knew Niall." Carissa hissed from Niall's phone. "How was I supposed to realize that you didn't know you loved her? It was obvious to everyone. I thought it was obvious to you."

"Yeah, but how was I obvious? Like when did you first notice?" Niall asked. He wanted to know everything he had done. Wanted to know what his tells were, where he had first fallen for you, what gave him away. He wanted to know if you had noticed.

"Niall," She whined. "I really don't want to go over this with you. You broke my heart."

He cocked his mouth in a "what the fuck, man" expression. "You broke up with me."

"I broke up with you because you loved her. I loved you but you didn't feel the same. Try to imagine being in my place. How would you feel, being in love with (Y/N), and she doesn't love you back?"

Niall ignored every part of what she said, except for one particular point. "You think she loves me?"

"God," Clarissa sighed, praying for patience. "She's just as obvious as you. That's why she and I never got along."

Niall drew back from the phone taking offense at her words against you. "(Y/N) was always nice to you. You got along just fine."

"Yeah we got along fine, but it was only surface. We both were in love with the same guy so we couldn't be friends. She was always polite but she never went out of her way to make me feel welcome. She didn't include me when you would have your little 'friend dates'."

"That's because that was our time together. She was my best friend before you were my girlfriend."

"Niall, no none makes a date to hang out with a friend. That's just weird. I always felt like I was some third wheel and you were dating (Y/N)."

It was Niall's turn to sigh. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not mad at you. It's not your fault. You couldn't help that you didn't love me. But, I wish you had."

"I could have loved you, given time."

"No, you couldn't. Because she will always be in your life. And that's the horrible part." Clarissa coughed to hide a sob. She hated to have this conversation, but maybe, with it, Niall could see her side. Maybe it would help him to let go of you, cause he would be able to see how much she really loved him. She would bet that she loved Niall more than you ever would. "I would do anything to get her away from you. Because she blinds you from everyone else. You never saw me. You could have loved me if she wasn't in your life."

Guilt tugged at Niall. This was the first time he had really realized how much he had hurt Clarissa. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be the one to give you what you need. I wish I could have been." Air filled his lungs in a deep breath. "Clarissa, I'm sorry."

She sniffles, "I know. But sorry doesn't heal my heart."

"What can I do to make this right?"

She blinks, could it be that easy? "Let go of her. Let me have you."

His eyes close. "I can't do that. Because I love her."

No, it couldn't be that easy. "But I love you!"

"Ni Ni," Clarissa pulled away from her phone at the sound of your voice on the other line. Her heart broke at even further at Niall's gentle sigh.

"Babe, I thought you were sleeping." He loved seeing you as you were now. Hair tussled, cheeks pink from your warm sleep, and eyes only open enough to reveal the haze of just waking up.

"You weren't there. Come back." Your voice was thick from sleep and Niall loved it. You looked so content that all he wanted was to wrap you into blanket and hold you in his lap.

"Come here," He beckoned you over with his phone. Your feet pitter pattered silently on the carpet and you settled into his lap.

"Mmm," You sighed, tucking your head under his chin and shutting your eyes contentedly.

He kissed the top of your head before turning back to his phone. "I've got to let you go. But thank you, for everything."

"Yeah, but Niall, I do lo-," But he had already hung up on her. "I do love you." She hated the affection he had for you, because it forced her to be a horrid person. She would do horrible things to keep him in her life. While right now she may try to let him go, she knew at the end of the day, that she deserved him as much as you did. Maybe if she became more like you, then she could have him, right? Clarissa wasn't a horrible person, she just wanted the same thing that you had, and jealousy could make you feel and do crazy things.

"Come closer," Niall whispered as he pulled your body even deeper into his lap. A breath of air left your lips as you hovered in the sweet state of sleep and awareness. It was like you were perfectly balanced on a pin, in that perfect state where you were deeply relaxed but still awake enough to know who was holding you.

"Can you wake up a little bit for me?" Niall asked while rubbing a palm up and down your arm. "Just a tiny bit more baby. I wanna tell you something, and you should be awake for it."

"Mmm wake." You moaned while nuzzling his collar.

"Not enough, just open those pretty eyes for me. Just a little. And after I've said what I want to, I promise we can go right back to bed."

"If you're gonna tell me you love me, I already know."

You opened your eyes, allowing Niall to see the fog that was clouding them before closing them again. Every breath you took was 5 beats of his heart. "If you're going to tell me you love me, I already know. And I love you too."

He coughed and drew back from you. "Wha-what."

"Your dad and Louis have the mouths that don't shut. They both told me. None of your secrets are safe with them. Don't be mad. I would have found out any way. You forget I'm your best friend, before your girlfriend." All of this was said in a quiet whisper.

His chest expanded against your cheek as he sighed deeply. "I'm gonna kill them."

"Isn't it funny," You started to say but had slipped back into sleep.

Niall couldn't keep himself from smiling at your restful face. He kissed the tip of your nose before rubbing his own against it. "What's funny, babe?"

You barely opened your eyes, just enough to give him a sign that you were awake again. "That you had to be told by Clarissa. Dumbass. Sometimes I wonder why I love you back."

Ease settled through him. After days of him stressing over his feelings for you, and yours for him, he had finally heard what he wanted to hear. You loved him back, how it came to happen, when it came to happen, none of that mattered. Because it had happened and he no longer wanted to question it, only wanted to live it.