The Partial Eclipse Of The Heart

4

She called out of work the next day. the fear of losing herself again kept her hidden safety in the comfort of her home, under the sheets where no one could find her. She was terrified to go back to work, to see him. His words couldn't be more true, and that scared her more than any thing because she knew he was judging her. Going over in his head how crazy she is and she wouldn't have that.

She wanted to be normal, to not have to deal with her own mind turning on her. She wanted to one day be happy and live a life where she was accepted by someone who loved her with all her flaws, all her scars and all of her secrets. Only this was the real word. Things like that don't happen. The fact of the matter is, once someone finds out you have schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and PTSD. They immediately throw you in the category of the crazies. They stare at you with calculating, judging eyes. The tabooness of her disorder put a red flag on her back a ticking time bomb some would say. There was only a matter of time before she snapped.

She hated that, she hated the fact that people only knew her illness because of the negative affects it had on people. She wanted to change that only before she could even began the process she had to help herself. As the day prolonged, Megan felt guilt creep up on her, a part of her has convinced her self that she scared off the only person who willingly made an effort to talk to her, who showed interest in being her friend.

She was alone and she realized that if she kept up what she was doing, pushing people away, she was going to be alone forever. The house was so quiet, she listened to the silence, she had become accustomed to no noise. Having been in a padded room with four walls ,no window surrounding her for most of her life. It only made her crave the company of someone else even more than she had before.

Megan woke up the next day feeling better, she popped the pills and psych meds that were prescribed for her. Cringing at the bitterness. She had work in an hour and she was dreading it. Megan showered, dressed in her uniform, opting to pick up something to eat on that way. Knowing that if she stayed in that house a second longer she was going to be late for work.

The diner was semi packed when she arrived. The morning rush was well on its way. It was an overwhelming feeling for her to be around so many people, hearing so many voices at one time. They were loud and unrelenting. She tried to tune them out the best she could, and she did for the most part. It was something that she'd definitely have to work on.

Handing the customer her receipt, Megan looked up from the cash register ready to greet the next customer when she jumped back, startled, not expecting to see her aunt dallas. She had not seen her in over five years, she was old and that was not up for debate. She had thick bags under her eyes that looked like suitcases, her skin was paler than she remembered. The only thing that was recognizable was her color hair and her mother chin. And those deep brown eyes.

Megan gulped, slurring her words a bit as she tried to regain composure of herself. "H-How may I help you?"

Dallas stared directly at her, a look of disbelief in her face. "They let you out of the crazy house?"

Megan's jaw tightened at that, the mocking tone in her aunt's voice irritated her. She could feel the judgment radiating off of her. Knowing what's best and how easily she can flip like a switch and shut down. She ignored her statement completely and repeated, "Are you ordering something or not?"

Dallas chewed on her lip,the vein in her neck popping as fury blazed in her eye. "I'll take the pancake special."

Megan nodded writing the order and depositing the money dallas handed her. An pregnant pause fell between them as dallas spoke up. "I hope you know that you singlehandedly ripped this family apart. My mother is dead because of you, my children will never know their aunt because of you."

It was only then, when Megan saw the little girl, hiding behind dallas. She had golden brown locks and greyish eyes. She looked about six. As she stared at the little girl, guilt crept up on her. The little girl reminded her so much of herself, because in that Moment she looked terrified. And that was a feeling that Megan was all too familiar with.

Megan just excused herself from her posts. Telling one of her coworkers that she was going to start her break early. She couldn't stay in that room any longer. Knowing the pain she caused. It hurt knowing that Dallas balmed her for everything. Because she did too, she has been for the last seven years.

The matter of the fact was, dallas never really liked her. A part of her believed that she had always been envious of demi. It was blanatly obvious that demi was the family favourite. She was successful, beautiful, rich. Out of all the lovato's she stood out, she made a name for herself. While the others never really got the break that she did. So to hear dallas blame her for all the misfortune of her life. Was expected, it only made her upset because she believed it.

Thankfully when her break was over and she knew she had to face the music. Her aunt was no where to be seen. And Megan's day went completely uninterrupted after that, which she was greatful for. She just wanted to have a normal life for once. Nevertheless complaining about her job was part of it she was locking up because that was her job in Thursdays.  Megan tucked her short brown hair behind her ear, shivering a little af the crisp air.

For some odd reason the key wouldn't turn and lock. Megan frustratingly jammed the key forcing it with such power that now it was stuck. "Fuck!" She cursed, threading her fingers through her hair.

"What did that door ever do to you." A voice piped in behind her. One that she'd become familiar with over the last week and a half.

Megan didn't even bother facing him, "Are you stalking me now?"

He chuckled, "No sweetheart, sorry to kill your ego but I just so happened to be in the neighborhood and saw your struggle. So me being the good citizen I am decided to ask you if you needed help but it seems you're not in the mood to be bothered so I'll be on my way." He didn't take a step before her pleading voice filled his ears.

"Please help! The key is stuck and i just want to go home." She whined.

Her stalker pretended to think for a moment causing her to groan kicking the door with more force this time. "Woah, if you keep it up I'm going to have to arrest you for assault with a deadly foot."

Megan turned to face him, eyes glaring at his bemused face. "You're a cop?"

"Yup," he nodded walking towards her," Been in the force for three years." And to further her embarrassment he jiggled the door handle, pushing it in, and just like that the key was in his hands and the door was locked.

Megan crossed her arms over her chest huffing, "I loosened that up for you."

He chuckled, "Sure you did." He stuck his hand out for her to shake, "I'm Aiden, by the way I don't think I've got the chance to introduce myself properly."

Megan gave him a skeptical look before taking his hand in hers, he had one firm grip on her hand, that's all she had to say about that. "I'm Megan, nice to put a name to my stalkers face."

The German Shepherd by his side started to get antsy, pulling away from his owner wanting to continue his walk. Megan only just noticed how big the dog was standing next to her and she jumped, putting a little distance between them.

"He won't hurt you."

"You dont know how many times I've heard that in my life." She muttered, hoping he didn't hear her, which unfortunately he did and he gave her a puzzled look.

"Look, I wanted to apologize for the other day in the parking lot-"

Megan inwardly cringed at the mention of her panic attack. She wanted to erase that from both of their memories so they wouldn't have to talk about it. "I really don't want to get into that right now," she brushed past him, "I'll see you around Aiden."

Aiden  watched her retreating figure briskly walk to her car, wondering why this strange women intrigued him so much. Because more than anything right now he wanted to go after her.