Until I Met Her

Chapter 20

⚤  Eleanor    ⚤

Monday.

After I left Tyler's I couldn't go home. I went to Vee's instead. I didn't think I'd be so fucking upset over Tyler. I didn't think she would make me feel like this. It didn't make sense. I feel stupid. I should've seen it coming, why didn't I?

When I finally stopped crying, when I stopped feeling ridiculous for crying, Vee tried her best to make me look decent and said we needed a night out and out we went. Thank God Vee had finished uni and was back home, without her who would I go to? The only person that I felt like understood me enough was Tyler... and it was her who fucked me over.

Honestly, how did I not see this coming?

But it wasn't like Tyler cheated, though, was it? We weren't in a relationship, I never said we were official and neither did she... it still fucking hurt, though.

⚤

Wednesday.

I was trying really hard to push it aside.

Tyler called me and message me a bunch of times. Jesse told me she came by my house pretending to do stuff for her mum. Vee kept saying I needed to party so she kept taking me out, this time it was a lesbian club, Vee got hit on by so many girls, she ended up dancing with some girl that seemed like she was going to eat her up. I danced with a strawberry blonde with pretty brown eyes who kissed me at the end of the night and tried to get me to go home with her. That was about the time when it stated to hurt again and I couldn't do it. I got home and I couldn't sleep either.

I missed Tyler.

And missing her irritated me.

Why should I miss her? Why do I feel this way? I should've gone home with the girl, I should've at least tried, instead I'm in my room, wondering why the hell I feel like I have a hole in my chest. But then again, going home with some girl would've solve nothing. Sex wasn't even something that I was even thinking about.

I fucking hate Tyler Kohen. And to think I opened up to her, to think that I trusted her and that— I thought we were on the same page.

Honestly, fuck Tyler Kohen.

⚤

Saturday.

I was literally about to crawl up the wall.

I felt like I was going through a withdrawal.

I needed Tyler.

I wanted to talk to her, just once. Listen to her stupid voice and just have her explain to me even though I knew it wouldn't change a thing.

She called me and left a voice message. I tried to listen to it but as soon as she said hello Eleanor, I stopped it. It wasn't until a day later that I managed to listen and I repeated them throughout the day a couple of times. I put them apart, dissected them and tried to make sense of them. We didn't have sex, she said. Then why did she say she did in the first place? She came to mine and I don't know, she said. Why was Kelly there? She— fuck, she tried but I stopped her? I wonder, was that really what happened? And if so, why was she doubting herself, why didn't she tell me that in the first place?

Tyler was doing my head in.

At some point during the week, Mum noticed. She told me that whatever it was I should and I could talk to her. And I was about to do so but right when the words were ready to leave my mouth, Mrs Kohen came into the kitchen, trailing after my brother. Tyler following closely.