Until I Met Her

Chapter 26

It took me days to get Eleanor out of her bed. Days to get her to eat what she should and not what she felt like it since what she felt like eating seemed to be nothing at all.

It was getting harder because I was back to uni and this year schedule was a little fuller than last years and she wouldn't let me skip class, she was already angry at me because I wasn't skating as much, because I was missing competitions to stay at take care of her.

It was hard to see her like that, it was fucking hard... and I couldn't just say hey, it's been months, come on, get up, because that's just fucking wrong. She needed time and I was willing to give her it, I just... I felt useless while I was doing so.

I tried to get her to come back to uni but with a dead tone, she told me she had withdrawn from her course. I still showed her some of the slides from our History of Art lectures, I'd get her art books from the library and sometimes she even helped me with some stuff.

Mr Williams was still here, he was working from home and only left a couple of weekends but he'd always come right back home. Eleanor, though, was being civil about it, mostly ever since they had theargument.

I wasn't there when it happened but when I got to hers, Eleanor was pacing around her room with a pissed off frown. "He wants to sell the house and for us to go to London, he must be out of his fucking mind." She said, not worrying that her dad's room was just at the end of the corridor and the walls were paper thin. "This house is mine, mine and Jesse's he has no say over it." It was true, the house belonged to Eleanor's mum, she left it under her kid's name. "He wants to take Jesse because he says life is nicer in London, as if it was another fucking country." Eleanor laughed without humour, mockingly.

I tried to calm her down, tried to keep her from shouting but there was no calming her. It went like that until Mr Williams came out of his room, stood by the door and asked me if I could excuse them.

I knew he didn't like having me around but he was being nice enough, so I left and when I came back, an hour later, Jesse, Eleanor and her dad were at the dining table. She was calm and collected, listening to her father speak.

It had been a month since that conversation and Eleanor still wouldn't bring it up and I was afraid. I was afraid that he had convinced her and she was leaving. And I know how selfish of me that thought was, I know... but I didn't want her to leave.

"When you think too much you look pissed off," Eleanor said, I turned to look at her. With a cigarette between her middle and index finger, she pointed in-between my eyebrows, "You do this little frown thing when you're thinking too hard about something; makes you look angry."

"I'm not angry."

"I know you're not, I'm saying you look like you are— I'm just trying to ask you what you're thinking about," With an annoyed sigh, all the smoke came out of her mouth.

That was another thing she was doing a lot of: getting annoyed at me.

It was like everything I did annoyed her. Being around, annoyed her. Speaking, annoyed her. Me taking her hand, annoyed her. Me looking at her, annoyed her. Me kissing her, annoyed her. Me breathing, annoyed her.

I annoyed her.

"You're doing it again," She shook her head and looked away from me like she just gave up and didn't even care to know anymore.

"I was thinking about you," I answered her with honesty.

"All you do is think about me lately," She didn't even turn to look at me. "You should think about yourself for once, you've been so preoccupied with everything about me that you've forgotten about yourself."