Until I Met Her

Chapter 29

December.

It was Eleanor's birthdays in a few days and my mind was restless.

From the little I knew, she was doing great. She really liked it there and she was making friends fast. It was never a problem for her, she was easy with people.

At times, I found myself looking at pictures of us, wondering if I made the right choice, if I did the right thing by staying away from her, certainly, nobody understood why I decided to do so but... didn't they know Eleanor? Didn't they understand that she left because being here was too painful for her, so why would I tell her something that could potentially make her come back? I didn't want her to worry about me, I didn't want her to come back for me— no, she's already lost too much.

But it was her birthday... and even if I tried to force myself not to think about her, I couldn't keep ignoring it.

So, I took a pen out, a pen and a piece of paper and I wrote.

Dear Eleanor,

It is I, Tyler. Tyler Kohen. Brown hair, brownish skin, pretty eyes... just in case you don't remember me, I'm the asshole who ignored you before you left.

How are you? How's LA? Is it as funny looking as they show on TV? The glamour life and the big ass roads? Are houses as big as they look? Most importantly, have you tried the Pop-tarts yet? What about Peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Tell me, are they as gross as they look? I think I would love them. Even if they look weird as hell.

Happy birthday Eleanor.

I know this is weird, letters aren't a thing anymore, right? But I don't know, I thought it would be nice... I don't want to facetime, I don't want to call even though I'd like to hear your voice... I want to write a letter. I want you to read it.

I'd like to start by saying I'm sorry. I don't think there's enough space in this paper to tell you how sorry I am for how I acted the last few days you spent here. I don't expect you to forgive me, I don't expect you to write back but I would certainly like it if you did.

I love you.

Tyler K.

Ps: I moved back home— I'm saving up money. If you want to write... you know my address.

⚢

Three days after Eleanor's birthday, Freddie and Lexi came to see me and Matias led them in this time so I had no option but to see them.

Trying to avoid your friends was really hard, mostly when you were in a wheelchair and had no way to escape.

I could tell Freddie had been crying, Lexi was trying to keep a straight face as they walked inside my room. If they were surprised by the change they didn't show it.

My room, once used to be a space where you could tell I loved skateboarding. I had posters everywhere, I had pictures and trophies... I had so many things that I couldn't stand to see, so one day, I took it all down and I threw it out.

I know I wasn't being fair but seeing them? It hurt. Freddie, Lexi and I shared a passion. We became friends because the three of us loved skateboarding. We were friends because of all the hours we spent at the skatepark, the bruised skin, the fail attempts to land a trick... it all brought us together and now I couldn't keep up with them.

And as much as it hurts me admit... seeing them hurt.

"Tyler—" Lexi began but I didn't let her finish, I didn't want to hear anything.