imagines // joshua dun

fight - josh (part 2)

(a/n) YALL, listen to a sad song reading this. Like resolution by Matt Corby.

"Tyler, quieten down a little. Ella is asleep." Jenna hushed her husband.

After that, all I heard were softer murmurs which I couldn't make out into words. Growing impatient of sitting here listening to random sounds, I decided to get up and out of bed. I walked slowly down the staircase, the words of the three becoming more easy to hear.

"Why? Goddammit give me an answer Josh, why would you do this to her? What was her name? What was it all for?" I heard Tyler rambling at Josh.

"I-I-I d-" Josh stuttered.

"T-t-today junior." I interrupted, walking into the lounge room at the front of their home.
Josh stared at me with wide eyes, fear and guilt present in them. His eyes were red and puffy, purely bloodshot. He somehow already had dark eye bags drooping at the bottom of his eyes. I wrapped my arms around my body, feeling weak as tears had started pooling in my eyes.

"What are you doing here, Josh? Hm?" I spat at him, with a disgusted look on my face but still clearly hurt and upset. Josh bowed his head, looking at his shoes and and shook his head slightly.

"Ella, you have absolutely no idea how sorry I am. I promise you that it didn't mean anything to me. I was vulnerable and easily persuaded. I was so lonely on the road and upset. So, I went to a bar on the way to Ohio and got extremely drunk. Some random woman came up to me, we got talking and so I started to vent to her. She kept telling me horrible things about you and she persuaded me. She knew it was wrong, I kept telling her no. It wasn't exactly consensual, either. What she did wasn't right. What I did wasn't right either. And for that, I'm so terribly sorry, El. I love you so much, I would die for you. You have no idea how much I hate myself for this. I just hope you can understand that." He exhaled, tired from speaking so quickly.

I slowly stood back away from him, whispering to myself and shaking my head, putting my head into my hands.
"No Josh! If you truly loved me, then you wouldn't of done this! Intoxicated or not, you still had your own mind ad could've turned around that situation. Don't you dare bullshit me any more or I'm going to go mad. I appreciate your apology, and I may forgive you too." I spoke up, my head still resting in my shaking hands.

Josh stared at me, looking hopeful. His mouth started to break into a stupid grin and his stupid squinty eyes formed and his stupid perfect teeth showed.

"But, that doesn't mean I'm just going to fall back into your arms. I love you so much Josh, but I don't know if I could be with you knowing you touched another woman in a wrong way when you were so "in love" with me. I just can't, I wish I could. You have absolutely no idea how much I wish I could continue to spend the rest of my life with you. But, you threw this all away. I'm sorry I'm being too harsh on you, but that's just how it has to be or this is going to hurt the both of us even more.

We planned a life, Josh. I devoted my whole life to you. And I'm not sure if you know I know this, but I'm aware that this whole "cheating" thing has been going on for a couple of months. I'm not blind, Joshua." I gritted my teeth. His eyes went wide in shock, clouded with guilt.

"Ella I can explain!" He pleaded.
I held out my finger to him, shushing him. I tried so hard to act strong and unaffected. But I just couldn't, he meant too much to me. I tried to fight back the tears but they just poured down.

"I was sure we were going to love each other for eternity. And I probably will, but I can't share it with you anymore, I'm sorry. You've done it for too long. Are you going to plan out kids with her too, Joshua? Are you going to spend endless nights with her in a treehouse stargazing? Are you going to continuously tell her that "it's okay, I've got you. Always." Is that's what's going to happen? I sure hope so, because if you do that, you will make her the happiest person alive just like you did for me. Don't hurt her either Josh, I don't believe she quite deserves it. Good luck for the rest of your life with your new love. I hope it was as special as ours." I croaked out, water cascading down my cheeks.

Josh looked at me for one last moment, tears streaming down his face, too. He was crying violently and banging his head on the wall in self-hatred. I know he hates himself for what he did, but I'm not sure if he completely regrets his actions either. "I always thought our love was meant to be. But maybe only for a short time. Goodbye, Josh. I love you till death we part." I glanced at him for the last time as I shut the door in his face. As soon as the door loudly banged, I fell to floor, weak.

Jenna and Tyler rushed to my side, soothing me and rubbing my back. Jenna was still smoothing my hair as Tyler got up and walked outside. Josh and Tyler are still best friends so Tyler would have absolutely comforted Josh, the best he could. Josh was still on the ground outside, not wanting to leave you.

"I love him, Jenna." I cried out.

"I know honey, but you have to let go. I'm sure you'll fall out of love soon."

"I don't think so, Jen. I really don't." I sobbed, rocking back and forth.

And we didn't, neither of us did. We thought of each other everyday, but never spoke to each other, scared of hurting the other even further. And that is how it was for the rest of their lives. They both kept their promise.

I'm going to love you until death we part.

(a/n) was that sad enough? I tried to make a sad chapter but I'm not sure if it was enough to make anyone cry. I'm an overly emotional pussy so I think I would but idk. Sorry for the hella slow updates