Wherever The River May Run.

Building New Bridges.

Sang's POV:

I watched from the doorway as my son and his father bonded over the many, many toy cars in his room. North was talking to him about the different models and River was looking up at him in pure childhood wonder. I smiled slightly as I pushed myself off the door frame and silently crept towards the living room. 

Might as well make myself useful. I thought  as I pulled out my laptop to work on a college paper due next week. Before getting started, I grabbed a light snack of carrot sticks and ranch and placed them on the table.

If I knew my son, and I did, he'd be out here in about ten minutes asking for a snack. I started on my paper and about 5 minutes later River came running down the hall with North following close behind.

"Mama, can me and Dad have a-" he started but I smiled at him and nodded towards where he was already staring...

The food.

"Sure sweetheart. There's your snack. Would you like a juice box with it?" I asked, already getting up.

"I'll get it for him Sang baby. You just go back to doing whatever you were doing. It looked important." North urged me with a soft smile. I smiled shyly back at him and nodded, sitting back down, but I didn't correct him on the pet name, I wouldn't do that in front of River.

"Yes please. Thank you mama...and dad." River stated looking between the two of us with a wide toothy smile.

I watched as his eyes followed North and while his eyes seemed to shine the brightest I've ever seen them I could feel my heart slowly breaking.

How was I going to tell my little boy that his mommy and daddy won't be getting back together? I knew it would be exactly what he'd want in the end but I just couldnt and as I imagined the light in his eyes dimming at that fact...

My eyes filled with tears and I looked away quickly but apparently not quick enough...

"Mama?" River whispered softly, but I started typing quickly. I fidgeted, feeling North's burning gaze on the back of my head.

"What's the matter, mama?" He asked and I put on a big fake smile before facing him. His frown deepened as I shook my head.

"I'm fine baby. Just a little stressed from my homework." I smiled lightly and he eyed me unsure but nodded anyway and looked towards North. I didn't dare follow his action. North would know right away I had lied, that I was sure of.

"Hey buddy, why don't you go take your juice and snack into your room and I'll be in there in a second. We can watch a movie or something as soon as your done, alright? I'm gonna try and help your mama with her homework, okay?" North encouraged as he drew closer and passed River a juice box with a soft smile.

River pouted at first, but eventually nodded slowly and shimmied down from the table taking his snacks with him. He glanced at me one last time before racing down the hall and I heard the click of his door as he closed it behind him.

North sat down next to me but I continued typing and gritted my teeth. I wasn't ready for this conversation and I think he could tell because he stayed silent for a few minutes just staring at me until finally he let out a deep sigh.

"Sang, what's wrong?" It wasn't a question really, more of a demand. He wanted to talk this through. I shook my head, my fingers pausing on the keyboard before continuing, never taking my eyes of my laptop, I cleared my throat.

"I'm fine." I chirped with fake enthusiasm, but he saw right past it. He placed his big call I used hand over mine, effectively stopping my typing and his other hand gently grasped my chin, tilting it so I was forced to look up into his dark eyes.

"That's bulkshit, baby. You and I both know it. Now, what's really going on inside of that head of yours?" He growled softly in a whisper. I sighed and pulled my hand out from under his. Placing both of them in my Lao and wringing them together.

"How am I going to tell him, North?" I breathed out on a sigh. His brows furrowed in confusion and I shook my head looking past him down the hall where River's room was.

"Tell him what?" North questioned and my gaze flicked back to him before refocusing on the hall.

"How am I going to tell him that his mom and dad aren't together? That we won't be?" I stated and glanced back at him, locking my gaze onto his dark orbs.

"How do we tell our son that even though he wants us together, we can't be." I stated pulling my face from his grasp and looking down.

"Why?" North asked after we sat in silence for a long while and my head snapped up to look at him. Why? Was he serious? Every inch of him looked completely serious.

"North, it doesn't work like that. You don't get to come rushing back into my life and assume everything is going to go back to the way it was when we were younger." I whispered brokenly as I shifted my gaze elsewhere, anywhere other than his gaze that was currently boring into the side of my head.

"Your right. I don't get to assume that and I don't right now, but does that mean we don't get to try? That I don't get to try and do right for my family?" He asked softly and I flinched at the word...

Family.

I wasn't his family anymore. I wasn't any of the blackbourne teams family anymore. I hadn't been for a long time.

"Sang, I know you don't think your part of our family anymore, but that doesn't mean that's what we think. You've never stopped being my family, our family. Just give me the chance to prove it to you. Just give us that chance to prove it. I know the boys all want to see you again, and they want to meet River. Give us the chance to show you how much you guys mean to us." North whispered as he took my chin in his hand again forcing me to look at him.

His dark eyes were pleading, sincere. He really wanted to try and my head was screaming "No don't!" While heart was whispering "yes you fool." But I was stuck. I didn't know what to do.

"I-I don't know, North. I-" I muttered but he quickly interrupted me.

"Please, just...just give us until this mission is over. If you still feel the same about everything then I'll accept that. We'll accept it, but please don't accept it without trying." He asked softly. I searched his eyes just as he searched mine before I I haled deeply and let it our slowly saying one word that had the power to change everything for the better or leave me more hurt and heartbroken than ever before.

"Okay." I breathed out, as I prayed internally that I hadn't just made the worst decision of my life.