Madferit

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to my good friend, Gem."

The news hit me like a brick.

            I was laid out in front of the fire at my mum's house. She was ill and I'd come back up north to look after her.

            She was in bed and the house was quiet. I turned on the telly and that's when I heard it.

            "Shit!" I exclaimed to myself. "They'll split now."

            But they didn't. And what was even more shocking...they asked me to join them.

            Of course I said yes. How could I not? They breathed fire back into rock and roll. Noel Gallagher...well it came as no surprise he was one of my heroes.

            And apparently I was one of his? I know I don't sound too sure of myself but if you were put in my position you'd understand.

            He'd been going through some stuff. Personal business that was being blasted all over the news and the papers. Not to mention having to work with his kid brother. They put the album out as just a duo with Noel playing all the instruments. What choice did they have? We didn't sign on until afterwards even though we featured in the music videos.

            He saw me as someone he could trust. A friend in all the chaos. An ally when the going got tough. I don't think he had that with the others. He was sort of the odd man out with them. I mean, they formed the band and had little Liam on as singer. And if it wasn't for his little brother's insistence he join up with them, well I imagine he'd still be sat in Manchester dreaming of what could be.

            It was the best gig of my life. I thought Heavy Stereo was solid and our future was pretty bright...until my mum got sick and my priorities had to change. I reckon Noel would do the same for his mum. She's an angel to them two, she is.

            Noel and I became close. Best of friends. But I was friends with Liam too. I guess I'm just a friendly chap. People expect me to be the peacekeeper. The level head in all their madness. I didn't mind though. And the Gallaghers obviously didn't mind either.

            We were recording the next album. It was the second time Noel shared songwriting duties and the first time I'd be writing something for Oasis. It still sounds weird saying it: writing songs for Oasis. That excitement...that pressure...it sends chills down my fucking spine.

            She was sat there at the mixing desk watching us all work hard. Or hardly work, depending on how you look at it. Noel tried to tell us not to dick around but with Liam in the picture it was a lot easier said than done.

            She tuned out all of our goofing off and just focused on the guitars. Especially Noel's. It was obvious they loved each other. That Noel cared so deeply for her. He wrote so many songs for her I'd lost count. Even the ones he said weren't about anyone specific, I just knew they were about her. They'd been together forever. I didn't see that ever changing.

            Even with Liam pestering her off and on. She was the one girl he couldn't have. The one girl who didn't fall for his charm. I felt bad for Nicole. She may have been his missus but it's not like he truly stayed...I shouldn't fucking talk about it. It's definitely not my place.

            And it's definitely not my place to be thinking about Noel's bird either but I can't help it. I don't know if Noel could tell. I reckoned he'd kill me if he did. It'd be a worse outcome than getting kicked out of the band.

            And I don't know if it was worth the risk.

            So I tried to tell myself to stop. Just focus on the music. The guitar playing. The chord changing. Backing vocals. The whole lot. Get my mind where it belonged.