reflection

lost

"I planned all of those." Namjoon confessed. Hiseul's sobs came to a stop. "What do you mean?"

"The time when I invited you to our dorm, I know Jungkook was banging another girl back then, and I intentionally wanted you to see that."

"What...what are you talking about-" She asked, her mouth hanging open.

"I was all aware that Jungkook is fooling you, but he threatened me and said that if I told you, I'm the one who would surely look desperate because I have feelings for you and you'd think I'm framing the two of you up for my own benefits. So I made a plan of making you witness it without any of my warnings. I'm sorry..."

Hiseul let out a small yet forced laugh. "I-I don't know what to feel in regards to that..."

Namjoon lowered his head down, no idea what to say next. A suffocating silence covered the whole hospital room. It was like ten minutes when he finally looks up, only to see the door being slammed shut. Hiseul is gone.

Namjoon then slouch his body to the hospital bed violently, making the bed squeak. He closed his eyes shut, absorbing the situation that just happened.

"Is it that stupid of me to be in love with you, huh, Kim Namjoon?"

Oh, how he wanted to record such surreal moment and play it all over again until he dies, but the guilt is conquering his whole well being like a poisonous liquid gashing out on one's nerves. He can't celebrate for now.

Waves of Hiseul's voice saying she's in love with him plays on his head like a music on loop. He bit his lip, suppressing the childish smile he can't even deny.

"Why did you leave? I was supposed to kiss you after that." He whispered to himself, not realizing that it was him who got silent when he has the chance to do so.

Afternoon came and Hiseul still wasn't back. Out of extreme worry and frustration, Namjoon discharged himself from the hospital, only to discover that Hiseul already paid up his hospital bill.

Upon arriving at the dorm, he immediately grabbed his phone and texted Hiseul up.

me
look hiseul
sent 5:59 pm

me
can you just come over oh my god you need to change my bandage right
sent 5:59pm

me
:"(
sent 6:00 pm

me
pls come over daddy needs help:"(
sent 6:01 pm

After hours and hours of waiting, he finally heard the notification sound he has been waiting for forever-the notification sound that only comes out when Hiseul texts her.

Yes, he's that crazy for her to assign a different notification sound when she texts or calls him up, and such notification rings became one of his favorite sounds.

He excitedly opened the message, only to see the damn directions the doctor had told Hiseul such as how to change the bandage, in what time interval does the bandages need to be changed and multiple reminders of do's and don't's. She just forwarded the things she noted herself.

He brushed his hair out of frustration.

me
thats it
sent 6:34 pm

me
i'll come over in ten minutes wait for me little rat
sent 6:34 pm

He grabbed the medicine kit with him as he made his way on her apartment. With his impatient driving and frustrated heart, he arrived at the apartment building fast. He ran all the way to her unit and unlocked the door by entering her pin. He roamed all over the house but no marks of Hiseul came up, leaving him more frustrated and messed up.