Love & Liberty

Saying Goodbye

That night they didn't speak to each other. There was so much tension and Steve hated not speaking to Gwen. S.H.I.E.L.D. sent someone over to fit Steve with a suit for the mission. Gwen went in her room while all that was going on, she didn't want to get in the way and have Steve even more annoyed with her. About an hour later there was a knock on her door.
"Yeah, come in."
"Hey." Steve stood in her doorway with his hands in his pockets.
"Hey." she replied.
"I'm sorry about earlier. I'm just.." he sighed and then went and sat next to her.
"I just thought you'd be going on my first mission with me. You didn't even tell me you were taking a leave of absence. That's kind of something you tell your friend, you know?"
"I know. And I am so sorry." She looked down and took a deep breath. Steve waited, knowing she had something to get off her chest.
"Troy, my husband..well, we've been having problems the past year or so. I don't know what is going to happen, but I said 'I do' and that means something to me. I will do everything in my power to make it work. To fix whatever is broken in our relationship."
Steve nodded, "And does Troy feel the same?"
She looked at him, wide eyed at his question. She honestly didn't know anymore.
"We've always worked through our problems." she answered.
He looked at her and said, "When it's love, real love..you shouldn't have to work that hard."
She leaned back on the bed, just exhausted from it all. He was right and she knew it. She'd been working so hard at everything that she'd lost sight of what was really important in a relationship. That companionship, being completely yourself with someone. Steve took her hand, "C'mere." He motioned for her and she settled into his arms. She let go in that moment, letting herself dissolve into him. He was there for her when she really needed someone, he was genuine and true. He kissed her head. Realizing that under it all, she was a beautiful mess.

They fell asleep in each others arms and woke up way too late. Gwen tried to wiggle out of his arms without waking him, but to no avail. He opened his eyes and looked around, "I'm sorry. I fell asleep, I--"
"It's okay, we both passed out, no biggie. Let's go get some breakfast." She walked towards the door.
"Hey." Steve said, holding his hand out for her to come back. She took it and stood in front of him. He looked up at her, still seated on the bed. He took both of her hands in his. "You okay?"
"Yes." A smile crept onto her face and she hugged him. "Thanks for being so good to me."
"Always." he replied.
-----------
The morning of the mission Gwen packed her small bag back up and put it by the door. Steve ran up behind her, grabbing it from her hands.
"Steve, I can carry my own bag. Stop!"
"You're so stubborn. Just let me help you, jeez."
"What time do you have to be at headquarters?" she huffed.
"3 o'clock on the dot." He stood in front of her, "This is probably the only time I'm going to be able to say this so please don't interrupt."
"Okay." she replied, worried at his request.
He entwined their fingers and rested his forehead on hers. "Look, we haven't known each other very long, but we've certainly gotten close. And..you're special Gwen. Whether you choose to believe it or not, you are. You make me feel incredible. You're sassy and bold, and well, it's addicting I guess. I just want to be around you all the time. So this is really difficult for me, saying goodbye. So I won't, just see you later." He lifted her chin so she was looking in his eyes.
"I know that if I ever needed you, you would be there for me. I want you to know that I would be there for you, should you ever need me. Please remember to laugh that contagious laugh of yours and if you haven't in a few days, call me and I will make it happen, babe."
"Steve, I don't know what to say. Except that, I will always be there for you. And if I don't call, please do."
"Oh I will. Don't worry."
She grabbed his face and kissed him on the cheek. Hugging him tightly she whispered in his ear, "Love you."
"I love you too, kitten."
--------
At 3pm Gwen saw him off at headquarters, her eyes welled up and she just couldn't stop the tears from flowing. Once he returned she would be gone. She was trying to come to terms with that. She'd seen him every day for weeks..and now..they'd be miles apart.
She thought he looked so dapper in his new suit. He came over for one last goodbye.
"I feel like an idiot." he said.
"You look great Steve. Really."
"I feel like it's a little tight, ya know what I mean?" he raised his eyebrows. "You know?"
Gwen realized what he was implying and covered her mouth with a laugh. Steve pushed her hand down to reveal her smile.
"Don't cover that smile up. It's when you really shine through."
She took his hands and placed her head on his chest.
"I wish I could stay here." she said.
"You're not leaving until tonight."
"No, I mean here." she closed her eyes and squeezed his hands. He leaned his head down to meet hers. Gwen could feel more tears coming on so she let go.
"See you later." she said.
"Not too much later." he replied. They both smiled and he turned to head back into S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Gwen stood there staring at the ground. Feeling more alone then ever. She needed to disappear for a while, she knew that. But not being able to talk with her best friend was heart wrenching. Steve thought she would keep in touch, but she needed radio silence right now. Walking away from S.H.I.E.L.D. and Steve.