I'm an awful friend.
I tried to apologize to Elliot the other day and I couldn't. Everyone around me wants to kill themselves and I can't help but think it's my fault.
I wish I didn't have the friends I have. I broke our group apart. I became friends will lily all of the sudden and Charese got mad and Elliot got mad and...
I don't deserve my friends. At all. They're all so nice and I just tease them about it.
I guess that's why I love Riley so much.
Because I can actually help them... I know I can't hurt them in real life...
Listen if any of my friends read this I just want to say I'm sorry for all the shit I've done to you guys.
The teasing, the hitting, the anger.
I just can't help it. I'm trying, I really am but I just can't.
A few weeks ago I tried to take that anger out on myself by scratching my arm with a pair of sissors.
God it felt good.
I'm not sure why I did it... but I'm glad I did.
Because I deserved it.
