The Outsiders and the Bad Girl

Where Do We Stand?

Ponyboy's POV

Man the past two weeks has been weird between Ryder and I. She hasn't been wanting to talk to me and I haven't really been wanting to talk to her either. Her and I were both in our own worlds and I don't even know where we stand anymore, if were best friends, friends that are slowly drifting apart or just simple friends.

I sat in the living room with the guys, Darry had gone to work, Ryder was in mine and Soda's room asleep still. Johnny and I played cards at the table in the living room, Soda and Steve won the remote from Two and are watching drag races. Dal and Two are arguing over something and I'd listen if it weren't so childish.

"Hey, Ry!" Johnny said looking up from his deck of shuffled cards he had just finished shuffling. She waved and walked over to Darry's chair.

"Drag races?" She asked. Johnny and I took a break from playing cards and decided to listen or join into the conversation with the others. My eyes and Ryder's eyes still haven't met and she still hasn't said a word to me and this is all because of what happened awhile ago in my backyard behind the house. I don't get why she is so quiet now, I know how smart she is and I have no clue what she is capable of doing.

"Yeah." Steve said.

"You okay? I mean after everything from last night?" Soda asked her.

"I guess so. I'll have to go out later for 'bout an hour." She told us.

"For what?" Two asked.

"Somethin'" She replied turning her head to Two-bit. Two and Dal were sipping on beers, their first beers of the day to be exact.

"Like what?" Dal asked.

"I gotta get a new blade." She said. What happened to her blade that Mikey gave her? Where did that end up going? I know she carries it every where she goes, but who knows now.

"What happened to the one Mikey gave ya? Your pride and joy." Steve asked her, I stayed silent, I didn't feel the need to enter this conversation because it would just return to dead silent or something like that.

"The Rumble last night, the guy I was fighting took out his blade and so I took mine out. He threw mine into the fire, so I threw his in the fire." She explained. She makes it sound like its no big deal. Like it doesn't matter that her blade is gone or I should Mikey's old blade. I would've liked to meet this Mikey kid, she talks 'bout him a lot now then she use to before. I would too if that was the only person who understood me for 8 or ten years and did everything with her and was by her side, gained her trust and waht not. I just sat there and listened.

Ryder's POV

After a little while of talking, I took a small nap in my seat and this is what happened during my nap. It was like a realistic dream or something, kinda like when I saw Mikey the other week and talked to him. I saw Mikey in this dream or whatever you wanna call it. He wasn't upset with me or anything, just a little sad and very little mad at me. My dream went like this:

I was in the lot and somehow Mikey was there. He was standing next to me as we watched a sunset for the first time in our lives. He and I never really bother to look at the joys mother nature gave us.

"You know that kid, the younger one? He's just trying to look out for you and you keep pushing him away. You both don't know where your friendship stands. But I want you to fix it. Got it?" He told me, this was the Mikey I knew. He liked everything right and he didn't like when people fought over stupid little things or those small problems, he preffered fist fighting instead.

"I don't know what to do, Mike. He likes me and I don't know how I feel about him. I've lied too much and he doesn't trust me no more. I am lost with out you, Mikey. If you wouldn't of died, I would still that bad girl with no feelings or anything like that. You and I would be out in New York sassing off to police, doing what we do best and now I can't. These guys are too protective of me." I told him.

"They do better then job of keeping you safe then I ever did." He said.

"What do you mean?" I asked. He sighed and looked at me.

"I let you run around at the age of 7 with a blade in which had a sharp knife since it was brand new. I never taught you the good in the world, instead I let you follow my lead and look at us now!-" I cut him off.

"We're proud criminals, theifs, cheaters and liars." I finished.

"Yea. See what I mean, I think its a good thing you met them. If you didn't, you would've killed yourself by now just like I did. I couldn't handle being alone, no one knew what I felt like, no one knew my story and you weren't there. I got a girlfriend in military school to see if that would distract me, did nothing. So I took my life and I don't want you going out and doing that to yourself."

"Sorry, Mike. I didn't know."

"No one knew, Ry. No one did. Not even my parents and they sent me a letter when I was in military school. I won't tell you it because I sent it back  to my parents and they had the guts to send it to you couple weeks ago. You should get it, cherish it too because that's the only thing you'll have left and my jacket. You still have it, right?"

"The jacket?" He nodded. "I do have it, its still a little too big for me so I never wore it and it reminded me of you. Its in my closet at my place." I told him.

"Good, now you have that. Don't be upset by the blade either. Things happen for a reason I guess. I got sent back to you in your dream."  He told me.

"So this is just a dream, you're not real?" I asked.

"Just a dream, but hey. Just know that I'll always be there by your side. Even when you move out or whatever, when you get married, that is if you accept love and if ya got kids. I'll be watching over all of you." He told me. He hugged me and I hugged him back, That's when he faded away and I woke up scared. I don't know why I was scared though, then it hit me. Someone was trying to wake me up and when they did, they scared me I saw them. It was Ponyboy and no one else was here, but him and I.

"We need to talk." I said. He looked shocked for a second. He was too in the stars to move, so I grabbed his shirt collar and dragged him outside to beside the house now. Instead of the backyard and behind the house.

"You gonna say anything?" I asked. He just stood there.

"Look, I know we needed to talk. But why did you really leave here a couple years back and why didn't you tell us about that Rumble, you could've died!" I stood there looking at him, I said talk, not yell and scream. So I waited, but that him worse and he yelled slightly some more. "Why can't you listen, Ryder?! Why do you gotta be this way? You can easily tell me or any of the guys what floats around that head of yours. We're here for you no matter what, we didn't give up and we won't. Please, just tell me what we can do." He said.

"Well, you could start off by being less protective of me. Be like Dal or Two-bit and not really give a hang or look out for me the odd time. I know more then you think and I am sorry. I've realised how much I meant to people now. I am a broke kid, very broken one and it'll take awhile before I can stand up on my own again." I told him.

"Gee, never knew you could be nice." He said.

"Haha, very funny kid. Now I am leaving to steal a blade." I said and now I had to wait for the right moment.

"You're not going out to rob another store. Buy the blade, you've got dough. Ya gotta stop stealing!..." I cut him off by kissing him. This time it was me, I did what Mikey said and be myself. Fix things and this was to make him shut up.

He just looked at me. He was gonna say something, but I put my finger on his lips to shush him. "To get you to shut up." I mocked him from before. I bet he was smiling real big on the inisde because on the outside he was shocked, seemed a little happy after it kicked into his brain of his. "Now, you gonna shut up 'bout the blade thing?" I asked. He nodded and I left. "Good, because I am getting a blade." I told him.

I left and ran down the street to go find a good store to steal or buy it from. I got to the store, I walked in and looked for a wooden handled blade that look almost the one Mikey gave me. I bought one and headed back to the house.

When I walked in, they all looked at me.