A Junkie's Journey

Six

Ambien would be the death of him. Ambien fucked things up and made Tristan start conversations with people that he wanted out of his life, like his ex. Even though he was "sober" now - not snorting anything - he still took his prescribed pills orally. He was taking Ambien every night to help him sleep, but sometimes, the Ambien kicked in without Tristan realizing it, and he usually started conversations with people.

He replied to his ex's story on Snapchat and said that he missed her. She told him that they should start texting each other frequently again, like they used to. Tristan agreed, and texted her the next morning.

During their conversation from that morning, the texts were awkward. "What's up"s and "How're you"s were the highlights. She asked Tristan if he had been doing "heellllaaaa drugs," and later said that she wasn't doing any, "not by choice," because her connection wasn't dealing anymore. He fell asleep in the middle of their conversation, and didn't reply when he woke up. Tristan wished he hadn't contacted her at all; he was done with her, and he hated making it seem like he cared about her.

She sent him a text the next day, and he didn't reply.

The day after, he was hanging out with his friend, Colton, when she texted him again. She said, "You don't even talk to me." Tristan made up an excuse, but in reality, he didn't even want to reply to her.

After the excuse, he asked her what she was doing. She told him she was on FaceTime with her girlfriend. He couldn't help but laugh - first thing she brought up was her girlfriend? Really? She was trying to see if he cared at all.

why'd you even mention a girlfriend?
hope you don't fuck her mental state up as much as you did mine <333 good luck

wait
what
thats what im doing rn
i didnt know that wasnt okay oh my god im sorry
but tbh you're the ex i'll never stop loving so don't even try to make me feel like shit right now

Really? She was going to pull something like that? If that didn't show how desperate she was, what would? She was all about manipulation, but Tristan hadn't figured that out until it was too late. He wanted her out of his life because of shit like this - every time they tried to be friends again, they would argue, stop talking, and then try to talk again. It was a seemingly endless cycle.

you think our relationship was healthy? You taught me that it was 'normal' to break up after every little disagreement. I wouldn't have cheated on you if it was genuine love

so you never really loved me is what you're saying

That was a low blow, but in his mind, it was true. The thought of cheating on his current partner didn't even cross his mind, but when Tristan was dating this ex of his, the thought of cheating on her made him feel better. He cheated because she didn't make him feel loved, wanted, handsome, safe... The list could go on. If he loved her, he wouldn't have hurt her in that way.

i thought i did, but i was tricking myself

ouch alright
well i loved you
my bad

<33 move on

were you not the one who wanted to talk to ME because you missed ME? lmao okay
im the one who needs to move on
dont hmu just to make me feel like shit, thanks ;)

i was on ambien, i don't remember saying it

Here Tristan went again, making her seem like he gave a shit. Ambien truly was his excuse. In the past, if he texted her and told her he missed her, he wouldn't be lying. He missed their friendship and how she used to be, but he didn't miss their fights at all. They always fought; why did Tristan think it would be any different now?