The Perfect Sin (Camren)

Ch 4- Would You Prefer Hogwarts?

When I was younger I was told it was bad manors not to say I love you back to someone. This made it easy for me to let the words slide out from my lips never really taking into consideration the weight they should carry. As I grew older it became clear to me that the worst thing you could do is tell someone you feel something for them when you really don't. It creates a false sense of hope, and security leaving the other person extremely susceptible to heartbreak.

So I made a personal decision a few years ago not to say I love you to anyone if I wasn't one thousand percent sure that is how I felt about them.

This is why when my father's bishop comes up to me and gives me a hug telling me he loves me I gave him a nod, a smile, and a polite

"Thank you"

"Lauren" I hear my father scold immediately as I offer him a shrug like didn't know what I did wrong.

"It's okay" Bishop Thompson chuckles softly as we stand in the middle of my father's office.

I was just on my way out to meet with Camila when I had the misfortune of running into my father's boss.

See, even in the church, there are procedures and though my father is the spiritual leader of his flock, it would be anti-biblical for him not to have a spiritual leader himself.

This is why our church is a member of a pentecostal council which Bishop Thompson is the founder of.

Before Bishop Thompson, dad has had other spiritual leaders all of which have shown their true colors in one way or another. The very first one was Pastor Tim, and if I'm being honest he was a man that I loved and admired.  I genuinely believed that he was a man of God, always kind, always patient, and always knowing the right thing to say. Until this day, I hear his voice and instantly react to it, still identifying it as the voice of a leader. 

That is until I was about 14 years old, and I saw my hero stand on a pulpit and apologize for a six-year affair with one of the worship leaders. 

It was then that I realized, there's no such thing as a hero. 

After that, they've all fucked up in their own special ways. Pastor Sam embezzled money from the church, Bishop Frank went crazy and was convinced that the theory of relativity was real and that when Jesus ascended he went to other earths to save them and that's why he hasn't come back and even crazier than him was Apostle Henry James who said he was God in man form.

At one point or another, every single one of these men were people I respected and they all managed to lose my respect.

This is why now, no matter how nice they seem, I don't trust them. 

"You know Lauren" bishop said softly almost as if he were talking to a child which made my skin crawl

"God loves you too" he added.

I tried my best not to roll my eyes before replying a quick "Well, tell Him thanks too" before exiting my father's office.

Clearly, this was something I would hear about later but in my mind, it was worth it.   

I exit the church and hop into my mustang to meet up with Camila. 

Since our last encounter in the tree house, we've exchanged numbers and we've been getting to know one another a bit more. I have discovered she is, in fact, more fearful than she is religious and I'm not sure that is a good thing. But I feel like she wants to learn as much as possible about both ends of the spectrum so I am doing my best to show her a life with and without religious practices.