One Summer, One Girl
By Debsluvsbooks
The Title and Cover design
A unique title, no doubt. It does stand out in a row of books when a wattpader scrolls through the lists. The cover is great too, which relates to the story extremely well.
On the negative side, you might want to add a comma (,) between 'One Summer' and 'One girl'. It will make the title even more meaningful and touching. That is all.
The Description
The lone quote you have used here is very touching. No second thoughts on that. It is a effective 'hook', which makes the reader curious. So, Good job on that!
But on the other hand, a slightly longer description could work even better. You could keep the description as intriguing as the quote. I know you are capable enough to do it!
The Story
Hands down, one of the most emotional short stories I have ever come across. Your characters were superbly created and absolutely believable. I felt a connection with both of them right from the start. Every little detail contrasted with the te others in an excellent manner.
There was a definite flow to the story, a lucidity that many authors fail to achieve. I would like to congratulate you on being able to pace the story perfectly.
On the negative side, there are a few discrepancies here and there. For example, sometimes you are confused between 'It's' and 'Its'. And sometimes you use 'am' instead of 'I am'. These small hiccups can disrupt the reader's attention. You just need to brush up on these.
Another thing I your use of 'commas'. You rarely use commas. Read up a little on their use, as using commas can take your already great writing skills to a while new level. Got it?
Final Opinion: Thumbs Up!
Without a doubt, you are a great author in the making. If you keep this commitment up, I have no doubt that you will scale the heights of story-telling. You just need to stick to it, and keep honing your skills.
Good luck!
Ronnie Debb
YOU ARE READING
Critiques And Covers!
RandomIt can be really hard for wattpaders to get audience for their first book. What is wrong? Is your book not good enough? Is your cover too bland? Or has it something to do with your grammar? Just tell me. I will critique your book and tell you what w...
