L'appel Du Vide [Call of the void]
By @_deranged_delusions_
Title and Story Description
I for one, find anything remotely related to french to be romantic (as in the emotional way, not the 'love' kind of way, although that's included!). So an English book with a french title instantly grabs my attention. I am pretty sure I would have read your book even I had come across it by chance.
The description is actually one of the best I have seen yet. It perfectly sets the stage for the conflict, so the reader doesn't just feel like he has been thrown into the story in the first chapter. The grammar and structure are impeccable, and I am kinda a grammar nazi. So far, a potential reader has nothing to complain about.
Cover Design
A near perfect cover for the story ahead. The dominating red hints at the brutality and bloodshed of the french revolution, if that is what you wanted to portray (My history sucks, so I can definitely be wrong). Throw in the fluttering french flag and the potential reader can already guess the stage of the conflict.
I said the cover was near perfect,however. The thing that can be improved Fonts and the positioning of the title. It is great but it can be even better. As of now, it seems like an injustice to the breathtaking background.
The Plot
It honestly takes a significant part of my will power to NOT just keep on raving on about an amazing piece you have crafted out. The very foreword and the epigraph suggested a level of finesse that I have rarely come across on wattpad, and the following chapters didn't disappoint. The description of Phillipe walking through the forest, was so vividly portrayed that I could almost believe I was walking along with him. Even the choice of weather in that scene spokes volumes of what an inner turmoil your MC was going through. Okay, I should stop raving on.
If I had to point out mistakes, I would say that your dialogue skills need a tad bit of improvement. You rarely use question marks, even when a character asks a question. That comes off as an odd line amidst all the beautiful imagery of the descriptions. I also noticed some of your readers complaining that you are 'telling' rather than 'showing'. I don't quite agree with them, but it does happen, albeit very rarely. Also, there are sometimes huge chapter length differences. Most wattpaders read on-the-go, so an ideal length of chapter should be around 1k-2k words.
Final Opinion- Thumbs up, and a round of applause
I have often thought that age is literally just a number in the wattpad community, and you are one of the examples. I have seen people over 70 years of age write beautifully, and now I have seen a girl of 15 on the way to wattpad stardom. I wish you all the very best on the road ahead. Au revoir!
Ronnie Debb
YOU ARE READING
Critiques And Covers!
RandomIt can be really hard for wattpaders to get audience for their first book. What is wrong? Is your book not good enough? Is your cover too bland? Or has it something to do with your grammar? Just tell me. I will critique your book and tell you what w...
