the ultimate meme love | shrek • donald trump

the outhouse

donald trump
i sat in my office in silence. i hadn't expected to become president. it was honestly just a dare from a friend. i want the people to believe that i know what i'm doing, but in all honesty i have no idea. and they are starting to scare me, with all their yelling outside.

shrek
i watched as he ran his hands through his perfect yellow hair, i wanted to comfort him. he's just so darn perfect. i made a last minute decision to emerge from my shadowy corner.

"hello, mr president. i couldn't help but notice that you seem quite stressed?" my velvety voice spoke softly.

he looked startled. i hadn't meant to scare him. i just wanted some new friends, maybe even more.

he just silently stared at me, i decided to ask his name even though i already knew it, "what's your name, gorgeous?"

"donald, uh trump," he responded awkwardly. "who are you? and what are you doing in my office?"

he was scared, i could feel it. "you're stressed, i want to help."

he eyed me, his eyes traveled up and down my large frame. i truly wanted to help. my beautifully insufferable wife, fiona, wanted me to get myself out there more.

"okay, but you haven't told me your name." his shaky voice trembled out.

"shrek, now lets get this started. you want to get out of here, correct?" i was hoping he'd agree, i'd take him to my swamp. i would just have to figure out a place for him.

"where?" he asked suspiciously.

"my place of course! it's quite the trip, and i don't have a place for you to sleep, but we'll figure it out." together, i added in my head. this is perfect, i had him wrapped around my fat green fingers.

donald trump
finally! somebody who truly wants to help. i of course agreed and he snuck us out of the building into his horse drawn onion. after a horrendous 12 week trip, we ended up at this shreks hideous swamp.

"it's, homey? where's my room?" my voice was confused, conflicted about my choice. should i have come here?

"the only spare room is the out house, unfortunately." his voice was sad, as he jumped out of the onion.

outhouse? of course, with my luck. i made my way towards the nasty building, it was falling apart and smelled like at least a dozen cats had died in there. as i opened the door, the stench made me throw up in my mouth a little.

"it is lovely in here. thank you, shrek." i said with disdain.

"of course!" he paused, "i have to go in and check on my small green triplets, and awful wife. good day, donald."

only took me like 5 months, hope you like lmao