From the Beginning Again

Okay, So Maybe This is the Beginning

         It's strange, now looking back and thinking about it, but meeting her wasn't the beginning. It was like the precursor to a beginning that was yet to come. I suppose you could say that the beginning didn't start years later, or if you were a poetic person you could say that the real beginning wouldn't be until the perceived end. Whatever floats your boat but doesn't sink your ship. I never claimed to be poetic. Or did I? Duh duh dun...

        I suppose you could say that the beginning happened on a Tuesday. The very next Tuesday after the Monday that had just happened. That Tuesday. But that's not important yet, what's important is what happened Monday night. Let me set the scene for you: Mom is angry, Dad is absent, I'm in crutches and my brother dearest is still in prison. Cheerful, I know.

       "You couldn't last one day? Not even one whole day before you had to be sent back home? Do you know what this will do to your college opportunities?" she yelled, pacing back and forth as I just sat on the couch.

         "Oh yes, because colleges are just dying to have me admitted. I'd probably do wonders to fuck up their success rates, but on the other hand, I could put in some good numbers for mentally unstable people that attend college." I shoot back. Sarcasm is just natural, its just a defense mechanism that I used back then and today. Some things never change.

        "You are not mentally unstable! I refuse to believe that and you should stop talking about it too. You used to be so smart and so careful. What ever happened to that?" her voice got softer and for a moment I almost felt bad.

       "Oh you know, the usual stuff. My brother is in prison, my father is probably having multiple affairs and my mother refuses to believe there is something actually wrong with me. Yes Mom, normal people jump out of windows all the time. Yes Mom, normal people have court ordered therapy and anger management courses. Yes Mom, everything is perfectly fine and dandy." with that, I made my dramatic exit. Kind of. As fast as my little crippled self could hobble.

       This would be the point in the story that you as a reader might be pretty confused. All these unanswered questions... Well you're just going to have to wait. Patience is a key virtue in life, so the sooner you learn it, the better. #protip

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       Tuesday. The great Tuesday. The day that will live in infamy. Not really, I guess I just have a flair for drama. Not that that's a good thing, but I suppose it's not necessarily bad either. Then again it could also mean nothing at all. I think we should all just accept that I stray from the topic far to easily and get distracted by very meaningless things. Whatever.

       The point is, Tuesday is the day that kind of starts it all. Its kind of like Tuesday is the little marble that rolls down the track, knocking over the dominoes and then the dominoes hit the bottle and then the bottle hits something else, and so on and so forth. I know there's a name for those things, but when asking the internet "what's the name for when one thing leads to another to another to another" there are very few actually useful answers. Go ahead. Try it. I dare you.

       I guess the actual point is that Tuesday was a pretty cool day. Kind of. Well, I'll let you decide.

       It started out much like Monday had, I went through my normal routine and then my mom had to drop me off at school because apparently driving with a broken tibia is "highly discouraged" and even "the dumbest thing you could possibly do Jesus Christ Jackson, do you ever think?" depending on whether or not you listen to my doctor or my mother, respectively. I hobbled my way into school, like one does, and barely made it to 1st period before the bell rang. Praise the deity of your preference.

      I drowned out the noise of the teacher by thinking about my therapy after school. I've never been to therapy - my mother doesn't believe in it - but I was really anxious to see how it was. I was mainly just hoping that it wouldn't be all "and how does that make you feel?" or "this is a safe place, you can tell me anything." I can guarantee that I would be out of that place faster than it would take someone to jump out a window. Ha. I'm so funny.

     The day passes by fairly quickly with not much out of the ordinary. Josh got busted on a drug deal, again. I got up to sharpen my pencil and everybody freaked the hell out. I don't think they quite understand that I'm in crutches and the very act of sharpening my pencil is a big deal, so sorry, no dramatic window leaps today. Can I take a rain check on that? Mhm, thanks. Anyways, then it was -cue dramatic music- therapy time.

      Looking back, the car ride there was a whole lot worse than any part of therapy was, and I mean ever.

      "You don't have to go. We'll find some way to get you out of it, your father is a great lawyer I'm sure there is some way. You know what? I'll call him right now, just gotta-" I interrupted my mom halfway through her kind of crazy tirade.

       "Mom. It's fine. Stop making a big deal out of this. Even with Dad as my lawyer I still got court ordered therapy, so there's no point in going back now. It can't be that bad, right? I'll get through it." I tried to put a smile on my face, even though what I was feeling could be described as the exact opposite of fine.

      "Don't you get it?" suddenly she was yelling, and I was honestly concerned for my safety as she was driving a whatever ton vehicle and expressing anger. Yikes. "It's not about you. None of this has been about you!"

      "Um, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure that it's me who is going to therapy, and it's me who is on crutches, and it's me who now has to take anger management courses, and it's me that has pretty much ruined my life. But please, tell me how it's not about me. In fact, I'm begging you." there I go with the sarcasm again. Sometimes I wish future me would come and shove a sock in my mouth, but it didn't happen back then so it's sure as hell not happening now.

     "You know what? I am sick and tired of you being so selfish. Do you even know what this is doing to me? To your father? I've already had to lie and say that your brother is off in some out of state college instead of rotting away in prison. I've had to lie to everyone, including myself, and say that your father is just taking extra hours or he's just working on this huge case when everyone knows the truth. And what about you? What am I going to say to you? There's nothing. There is nothing in the world that I could possibly make up and lie about to make this sound better. So yeah, it's not all about you." throughout this whole rampage her eyes never left the road, and I was kind of impressed at her level of skill. I was also impressed at how good she was at keeping her composure. In my 16 years of life I have only seen her fall apart twice, once being when my brother was sent away and the other time being now.

     "Whatever. It still doesn't change the fact that I'm attending therapy, not you. Although, maybe you should look into that." Ah, yes. I look back on my heartlessness with great dismay and maybe even guilt, but that was just typical me. I wish I would've said something to be more understanding to my mom, because I know she's been through a lot too, but even to this day I can't come up with the right words.

     I guess that's just the curse of being me. Sadly, I never got over it.

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AHHHHHHHH!!!! My very first note on this story, even though I know that at this point almost nobody has read this story. That doesn't really matter though, it puts less stress on me to finish it if no one is looking forward to anything.

If anyone is out there, what do you think of Jackson? His mom? Elaina?

Finally, I want to hear some theories on why Jackson's brother is in prison. Hint: use some of the clues I gave, but know that more will be coming up.

Also... Elaina will appear in the next chapter! I know she hasn't gotten a lot of spotlight lately, but that's mainly because Jackson gets distracted hella easily.

Anyways,

XOX Jac