From the Beginning Again

I Guess You Could Consider This the Beginning

By this point, I would imagine many of you are thinking things along the lines of:

"Jackson, I thought Elaina was important."

"Yeah, why haven't we really gotten more time to see here?"

"GODDAMMIT JACKSON YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB."

"I thought this story was about Elaina, why is it just about you?"

"Um, I really don't understand all the dumb decisions you made. I thought you were smarter."

To answer those questions I would say:

1) she is important, just bide your time

2) I get distracted really easy, and I didn't realize it would take 6 chapters for background

3) CAN'T A MAN JUST RANT ABOUT HIS FEELINGS FOR A BIT? IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

4) It is, it is. I swear, but you can't have a leading lady without the traumatic backstory of yours truly

5) keep in mind that I was 16 at the time. 16 year olds do a lot of dumb shit, granted most don't jump out of windows, but they still do dumb shit

With that out of the way, I would like to move on to more pressing topics, like how this is actually going to be the beginning. That then raises the dilemma on how I will name each chapter here on out, but I will do my best to keep with the theme. Themes keep the dreams.

Back on track...

Walking into therapy was an experience all it's own. I expected it to smell like a hospital, and in a way I guess it did. It was a mixture between the cleanliness of hospitals and the staleness of an apartment building, an odd combination but it certainly could get worse. Everything could always get worse.

        Some could call me a negative person, but I saw myself more as a realist. Someone who saw the world in a very realistic, but I guess cynical way. Things did end up getting worse, by the way, but not before we rode on the seemingly endless rollercoaster of better and worse. But that's not for now. Now, it was just ... strange?

         Walking into the room, she was the first thing I saw. Her. I froze. Oh no, oh no, oh no. Not like this. Please no. OH MY FUCKING GOD I SWEAR TO JESUS CHRIST (our lord and savior) THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING TO ME. DON'T LET HER TURN AROUND, WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE FUCK, WHAT THE-

          Oh.

           She turned around.

            We made eye contact.

             We both stopped, and so did the world.

              Not literally, of course. Therapist lady still went on talking to Her even though she was facing me now. I was staring at Her and I couldn't stop. She was staring at me and I didn't want her to stop.

               "Elaina? Elaina? Did you hear me?" therapist lady said.

                Elaina snapped her head around. "Yes.  Um, yeah. I did. Thanks." she coughed a little awkwardly.
               
                 I was turned to the plastic plant next to me, trying not to look at Her, but still taking glances. I don't know what I was feeling. Shock? Definitely. But I couldn't tell if I was happy or sad she was here. I definitely knew we wouldn't go around telling others we saw each other, so I wasn't worried about that.  I heard footsteps and I turned. Her head was down as she quickly exited, but not before she glanced up at me and I saw that her face was about as fiery as her eyes were earlier.