Just The Strings (COMPLETED)

Kabanata 54

#JustTheStrings

Kabanata 54

My jaw was probably already on the floor. And my chest heaving because of the bomb he just dropped in front of me. Had Saint always been this selfish? Did he move here just to chase me and corner me? Why was he doing this to me? He was the one who broke up with me! He was the one who didn't even bother to listen to my explanation! He was the one who ended us.

"I can't believe you..." I said, my voice covered with disappointment. I tried to get past him, but he grabbed my wrist.

"Mary..."

Something inside me throbbed when he said that. Mary. I even resented my name because of him.

"We're already done. What can't you understand, Saint?"

He looked at me. I refused to stare at his eyes.

"Everything," he breathed. "I can't understand everything... I knew I said things I didn't mean. I knew I hurt you... I knew you wouldn't talk to me for days because that's who you are, you know? You'd clamped up and ignore the world. So I gave you space and time." And then I could feel his eyes. He was boring a hole in me. "But then you left. You left me."

My insides froze. His admission was making it hard to breathe.

"Ano'ng gusto mong gawin ko? You hurt me."

"You lied to me."

"And you hurt me! Nagagantihan lang ba tayo?"

Kahit ano'ng pilit ko na 'wag magalit, na 'wag sumigaw, hindi ko magawa. He was trying to open the wound that I tried so hard to heal! Akala ba niya madali? I spent weeks crying! Strangers stared at me because I was crying! He destroyed every place for me! I couldn't even enjoy Paris because everything reminded me of him! Tapos ako pa 'yung nang-iwan?

"Isn't that what relationships are, Mary? We fight, we get mad, we give each other space, and then we talk! I knew we fought, but I was hoping that we'd talk! Pero iniwan mo ako! You left me without even saying anything! You know how crazy you made me?! I didn't even know where in the world you are!"

He was mad. It was the first time I'd seen him this angry.

"Why do you always run away from me?" His voice was weak, but his eyes said so many things. I couldn't even recognize him anymore. He wasn't the Saint I used to know.

Seven months passed... and still, it was my fault. Why was it always my fault?

"Was I suppose to stay? Kahit ang sakit-sakit na?"

My lips felt dry. I knew there was a reason why I tried my hardest to avoid him. Because it would hurt like this again. And the last time he hurt me almost destroyed me. I never wanted to go through that again.

"Bakit ako? Hindi ba ako nasaktan?" he threw back at me.

I smiled. And then peeled my hands off my arm.

"That's right. We hurt each other, kaya tama na. Let's not make the same mistake again."

It was like reading the same book, and expecting a different ending. It's insanity. It's expecting a different outcome when you already know in the first place how horrible it would end... no matter how badly you hope.

I started to walk away from him. Hanggang kaya ko pa. Because walking away from him had always been the hardest thing to do.

"Was I that? A mistake?"

But I didn't answer him. I just walked away. Because he wasn't a mistake... he never was. But he shouldn't know that.

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