What color am I now?

Uncertainty

There's an empty place in my heart from which you used to fill
Spontaneously finding new ways to make me smile
Leaving trails of kisses in forms of passion to remind me that you were in love
So if this is love I don't think it's enough
When your passion is my trigger and my love is poison to your veins
So I try to convince myself that I don't love you so I don't hurt you
But I know it's far too late
When you drain this love from your veins and replace it with hate
I put it all in proportion
As if I should of known then
With your abundance of feelings jumbled into something called uncertainty
We were always so uncertain
I was uncertain of love and you were uncertain of trust
I was uncertain of myself
And you were uncertain of being good enough
This uncertainty killed what we had
And soon enough I could see what we lacked
The passion to start again
But You hurt me more than I could ever put into words
So if that's not enough then how about this
I lack the drive to love again
My passions took a turn for the worse
I lack the drive to love again
My passion shows me no mercy as I write endlessly about the ways you'd lift me up and the ways you'd bring me down
And I'm starting to realize that maybe love wasn't enough this time
No this time I confused my efforts for yours they were hidden by the urge to make you smile they were hidden by a love so hollow I had to fill it with lies to help me sleep at night
I confused my efforts for yours
You weren't there for me but how could I accuse you of these things when you were the one suffocating
But you lied
After all I tried
I don't think I ever stopped trying
I don't think I'll ever stop loving you
And Nothing helps me sleep at night , knowing you got what you deserved
I just hope their smile is much brighter than mine to burn your darkest parts away
And I hope it was worth it
I hope it was worth all of my pain