What color am I now?

Different ways people can love

I'm starting to learn the difference between loving by choice and loving what I'm used to 
Love is not an excuse to abuse
I'll remind myself again when I feel less of myself that love is not supposed to be this hard
It is not the words that ring in my mind after you decided to devote your time to make mine miserable
Love is not supposed to make you feel empty
I am empty yet there are words spurring from my mouth when you ask how my day was and I say fine it's was fine because I don't know another way to greet you
Love is not supposed to feel like clock work
And as my days go by all I can think about is how to be by your side and make it worth while and before I know it a whole month has passed and I'm just passing time trying to please you becuase I love you
But this isn't love
Because love is always enough
But this isn't love
Because love is filled with trust
And I don't remember a day we're I put all of my trust into you and it didn't end with me questioning the meaning of your love
Your love is cold , it consumes my body and soul
Your love is an endless amount of time spent trying to live mine
And I hope that one day we can love the same
Where we can be in the same place without loving the wrong way
So when people say there is no wrong way to love
I'll remember the same way I felt as you told me you loved me while digging my grave six feet under the ground because I never could learn how to love you the right way.