Christine's POV:
It's about two weeks later and Erik and I are all moved in. The day after Erik brought me to the house, the nursemaid brought Christopher and we were a complete family again. I am still in awe at the house. It is huge and everything was perfect. We had a team of maids and butlers wait on us hand and feet. I tried to give them breaks often but they refused, saying they enjoyed working for us. What was interesting about them was that each one of them had a deformity of some sort. They were the unemployable to the rest of society and yet Erik graciously hired them. He knew how each of them must have felt like out there alone. I was blissfully happy.
(8 months later)
I am very far into my pregnancy. I need help doing things now, like getting out of the tub, or getting changed, or picking things up. I was a complete burden. Erik took care of my every need and I hated him for it. I felt like I was dragging him down with me. Because of me, he had to watch Christopher more often. Christopher has started standing on his own and even has gotten better at waddling around. He is growing up so fast. The deformity on his face is no longer noticeable. We thank God over and over from saving him from that fate and letting him grow out of it. We started weaning him off breastfeeding and started giving him cow's milk. I sigh. You'd think I'd get a break, but soon after Christopher is completely off breastfeeding, they'll be another hungry baby to feed. I was so tired.
I go to take a bath and have to call Erik for help. He comes in a minute later.
"Where's Christopher?"
"Oh he's under the care of one of the maids"
I sigh in relief. "Can you please help me undress?"
"Of course darling." Erik does what is asked of him. I turn around in his arms so that I am facing him and I kiss him. He places his hands on my belly and we feel the baby kick. I give a small smile. Erik gets a bath going for me and gently helps me into the tub. He helps clean in the hard to reach places. After that is done, he helps me out and dries me off and wraps me in a robe and helps me into bed. I'm not allowed to do many physical things with the baby about to come. Erik goes to the piano in our room and begins to play a lovely piece. I slowly fall alseep.
The baby is coming.
I wake up suddenly with that thought. I pull back the blankets and see/feel that my water has broken.
"Erik! Erik! It's coming!"
Erik basically leaps off the piano bench and runs to call a doctor. He comes back shortly and helps me sit in the proper position. He removes all the sheets and blankets from the bed so as to not ruin them. He helps me remove my robe and he shaves my pubic hair like the first time I gave birth. He grabs a white sheet to cover me.
The doctor arrives in ten minutes.
I moan in pain as the labor pains start. Erik grips my hand tightly. The doctor frequently checks my dilation and Erik counts the seconds between each contraction. Each contraction is worse than the one before it. I scream in pain.
10 hours later
"You're almost there Christine! You're at 10cm! We need you to start pushing now!" Erik says encouraging me.
"I can't...I-I can't" I am exhausted and in so much pain. I cannot force the pain on myself.
"Yes you can! Push!"
I push and let out a loud cry while doing it. My nails bite into Erik's arm. Again. I keep a rhythm of pushing and breathing.
The baby is delivered. She is not breathing. Her umbilical is wrapped around her neck. Her skin is tinted blue. She suffocated during my labor. I am too numb with pain to react accordingly. I just relax against the pillow and get ready to deliver the placenta. My eyes are glassed over and I can barely register that Erik is crying.
Once the entire birthing process is complete I sleep.
At about 5am I wake up crying. The feelings hit me like a wall. Erik was sleeping his private room so I could sleep better. I trying calling for him but my voice is hoarse and I doubt he can hear my raspy voice. I ring the bell next to my bed and a maid comes.
"P-please...can you g-get Erik?"
She nods and leaves. Shortly after Erik enters the room and he almost sprints the bed and he takes me in his arms and I fall apart in his arms and all he does is hold me, and that's all I need right now. About a half hour later we pull apart and I look him in the eyes and the pain in his eyes causes me to start crying again.
"I killed our child..."
"Don't you dare say that!"
"I did...I did"
"No darling you didn't. You had no control over it. You did everything just right."
I cry in his arms. That's when I realized one of his arms was bandaged up.
"Erik...what happened?"
"It's nothing Christine," he says, trying to brush off my question. I undo the bandage and I see a trail of nail marks and scratches down his arm.
"I did this to you...didn't I?"
"Christine you were in so much pain, I cannot blame you for doing it."
"I hurt you..."
"Darling I'm fine"
I touch the marks. Erik lets out a hiss of pain, failing to hold back any sounds of pain. I feel beyond terrible. I push Erik out of my arms.
"Leave me alone. I keep hurting the ones I love around me....leave me alone."
"Angel...I am fine...please don't make me leave. I want to be here for you."
I almost immediately put myself back in Erik's arms. He positions himself so he can lay in bed with me. He quickly fixes the bandages on his arms and holds me tightly in his embrace.
Why can't the past just die?
