Christine POV:
Erik and I are in the middle of getting intimate when we hear Christopher calling from his room.
"MOMMY! DADDY! I FOUND A SPIDER! COME HEREEEEEEE!"
I let out a sigh when Erik takes his lips off my neck. I help him button up his shirt and straighten my dress. We get off the bed and head to his room.
"Where is the spider darling?" Erik asks him.
"On the windowsill!" Christopher says while pointing to the location. I stand in the doorway. Spiders terrified me.
Erik goes over to the windowsill and lets the spider crawl into his palm.
"See? There is nothing to be scared about," he tells Christopher. "Hold out your hand."
Christopher does and watches the spider closely as it crawled on his hand. Suddenly the spider lets down a line down Christopher's hand and lands on the floor. He starts crawling towards me. I panic and step on it.
"MOMMY WHY DID YOU KILL IT?!?!"
"Mommy is just very scared of them," Erik explains.
"THAT DOESN'T GIVE HER THE RIGHT TO KILL IT!"
I feel guilty. I turn and walk out of the room. I go back to mine and Erik's room. Tears fill my eyes. A moment later Erik walks in and sits on the edge of the bed.
"He thinks I'm a monster...he's probably right...I kill everything...I killed two of my children..."
"Christine do not take it to that level. He was just upset that you killed the spider. And sure, I don't believe they should be killed, but you felt threatened and reacted to protect yourself. Please don't cry over this."
I wipe away my tears. I clear my throat.
"Now before the spider incident...we were in the middle of something I believe..." Erik says while leaning in to kiss my neck. I moan and lay back in the bed. Erik gets back on top and we passionately kiss for awhile. Erik's hands creep down my back to unzip my dress. We both strip our clothes.
There is something about skin on skin contact that can make you feel so comforted. Erik enters me slowly with a low moan. I sigh. I grab his behind to help push him in further. We both moan at the same time. Erik sets a rhythm of rocking. It's been awhile since we've been intimate. Damn, I've missed this.
(1 hour later)
Erik and I are laying in bed together cuddling. I trace the scars on his body. My hand stops at the scar where he got shot for me. I still feel so guilty about that. All the memories of it flood in and I tear up.
"Darling?"
"I'm so sorry...I did that to you...I'm remembering it all...your screams, the blood everywhere, you saying that you didn't want to die...I did that to you..."
"How on earth can you say you did that. That man...that THING...did this to me."
"It was my rapist and if I had never been...raped...or impregnated by him...or his friends...none of this would have ever happened..."
Erik is angry now. He gets off the bed and paces around the room. I get up too and touch his shoulder. He turns around to face me. His anger scares me.
"Don't you ever dare blame yourself for this ever again." He roughly takes my hand and places it on the scar. "EVER! This is the work of a monster. You did not choose to be raped or become pregnant! That was the work of the devil. I died that day when I found out what happened to you. I know what it is like to be physically violated and it is something I could never wish on anyone, even on the people I hate most...and to see you go through it broke my heart. Don't you dare blame yourself for what happened. Don't you dare."
Erik is crying now. We go back and sit on the bed.
"Erik...what happened?" And I didn't mean this outburst...I wondered what he meant by himself being physically violated. Erik doesn't answer. "I'm so sorry I asked. I am going to go take a bath." I get up and leave.
I enter the bathroom and get a bath going. I slip in and relax in the warm water. I cry. I cry for my past. I cry for Erik. I cry until I have no tears left. I get out of the bath, look in the mirror, and see a broken woman. I wrap myself in a towel and walk into the room to change. Erik is not in the room. He's probably putting Christopher to sleep. I lay in bed reading a book. An hour passes. Erik is still not here. I get up and look around to see if I can find him. He is not in any of the rooms he usually is in. I go find Christopher and ask him if he knows where daddy is. He doesn't. I'm worried now. I go outside and notice that Erik's black stallion is missing. Nonononononono. Where is he?!
"ERIK!" I yell. No response. I run back into the house and change into warmer clothes and wrap a cloak around me. I find a scarf and gloves. I call to a maid and have her watch over Christopher.
I can't figure out how to saddle my horse, so I decide to ride bareback. Wrong decision. It is the most uncomfortable thing ever. I've been following the other horse tracks in the snow, hoping they lead to Erik. I am exhausted. I have to rest. It's about a 19-hour journey from France to Sweden. It will take me a few days to get there. I stop at an inn and find shelter there.
I wake up to see it is the next morning and the sun spills through my window. My heart sinks when I see that there is a new layer of snow on the ground. The horse prints would be untrackable now. I have a gut feeling though that Erik went to France...and I feel it was something to do with my rapists. Oh Erik...what have I done...
I start on my journey again, only stopping every now and then to eat and relieve myself. Then it's back on the horse. I stop for another night. Tomorrow I would reach France.
There are only a few hours of travel left. I make it to the opera house. I leave my horse at the opera stable. I would go on foot looking for Erik now. I wander the streets of Paris when I hear shouting a few streets down. I run as fast as I can and low and behold, Erik is fighting with two men...I recognize them. They are my rapists. Erik has his sword out and is ready to make the final move to kill them both.
"DON'T!" I cry out. Erik turns on me.
"Christine!"
"ERIK WATCH OUT!" I scream as the two men behind him get ready to attack him. Erik doesn't react fast enough and is knocked out as they bash his head with a rock. They turn on me.
"Well well well...I remember you quite well. You put up quite the fight."
"STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I back up and try and figure out a way to get away from them. I quickly grab a rock from the ground and try and hit one of them but I miss. They come closer and closer and I am backed against a brick wall. I try and kick them as a last defense, but one of the men graps my leg and I lose my balance, causing the back of my head to smash against the brick wall. It knocks me out cold.
