the edge

3.

branson

i couldn't stop thinking about delilah and why she couldn't stand being around me. it wasn't anything new for people to not want anything to do with me, and i couldn't figure out why it bothered me so much. maybe because i hadn't done anything but be nice and she couldn't even have the decency to sit with me or have a simple conversation. at first i thought it might be because she knew me somehow, but i could tell after she talked to me the first time that she didn't recognize me. it was frustrating, not knowing why she didn't want anything to do with me.

i approached two girls who were sitting where delilah usually sat and awkwardly stood in front of them until i caught their attention.

"how long have you guys been here?"

"couple months, why?" the brunette girl with bright blue eyes answered me.

"i was wondering why delilah doesn't talk to anyone other than the therapist."

"oh, probably because of garrett. he used to be here but not anymore. i'm not saying anything else, i probably shouldn't have even told you that. it's a taboo topic around here. don't mention it to anyone else, you'll end up getting yourself into trouble."

i had a million questions but judging by the look on her face she was done talking. i turned and walked towards the main therapists' office because it was time for me to have a one on one session with her.

"hello branson, how have you been?"

"fine, i guess."

"anything new that you want to talk about?"

"who's garrett?"

she looked shocked before realizing she probably shouldn't have reacted.

"i'm not sure who you're referring to."

"i'm not talking about anything else until you tell me who he is, i want to know why delilah won't talk to me and someone told me it was probably because of him."

"i'm sorry branson but i'm not allowed to talk about other patients, you'll have to ask delilah yourself. off the record- i wouldn't advise that. she went through a lot with him and it wasn't a good situation. can we please get back to you now?"

"nothing new has happened in the last three days, i never leave here so you know literally everything i do."

"you can tell me any thoughts you have, anything positive or negative."

"i still want to die. i'm only here because i legally can't leave until i'm eighteen."

"so you're telling me that you're one hundred percent ready to die? there's nothing you want to do or see that you haven't yet?"

"i don't have any friends, my dad hasn't been around since i was eight, my mom doesn't give a damn about me, why would i want to stick around?"

"if you could do anything, career wise or not, what would it be? if death wasn't an option, what would you do?"

"i don't know. i used to want to sing but my mom and everyone else told me early on that i'd just fail and they're all right, so there really isn't a point in trying. i've failed at enough things as it is, i don't want to add anything else to the list."

"who else told you that you'd fail?"

"people at school, people in the comment section of covers i used to post on youtube and instagram. basically everyone in my family."

"well like you said, once you're eighteen you can leave. why don't you just stick it out and see what happens when you can get away from all of the negativity? you could be extremely successful, but how would you know if you decide to end your life before you've even turned eighteen?"

i wasn't sure how to respond to that. when she made it out to be so easy it made me want to scream- nothing is easy if you have no support from anyone whose support matters.

"well our session is up for today, i'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. please think about what i said branson, the situation you're in isn't permanent."

i decided two things after i left that room; firstly, i couldn't stand that lady, and secondly, i was going to figure out who garrett was and what happened between him and delilah.