the edge

6.

delilah

i walked away from branson and went straight to my room. i wasn't supposed to be there until after nine but i didn't really care about getting in trouble. as much as i tried i couldn't get garrett out of my head- i missed him and his stories and how he would sneak into my room late at night when he was supposed to be asleep. he made being in here so much easier. i wondered if branson could do the same but put the thought out of my mind almost as soon as it entered it. letting myself get attached to him would only end up in me getting my heart broken again.

--

i woke up to the sound of my alarm going off and groaned before rolling out of bed. i threw on a sweatshirt i had lying on the floor and walked out into the hallway towards the dining area. there was only one other person here already, which wasn't surprising considering it was only five after seven. i grabbed a plate with some toast and eggs on it even though i wasn't really in the mood to eat, mainly because i didn't want to deal with the discussion that would come from me skipping a meal. i subconsciously watched the door until i saw branson walk in. as soon as he made eye contact with me and smiled i looked down at my food. less than a minute later i looked up to see him sitting in front of me.

"please don't leave or ask me to leave. you don't have to speak to me at all and i won't attempt to start a conversation with you. i just had a rough night and i don't particularly want to sit alone and i'm hoping you could just do me this one favor even though i know you don't owe me anything."

i nodded and went back to staring at my food. after a couple of minutes passed i looked up at branson, who was already looking at me. his cheeks turned red and he looked down at his hands that were resting on the table. as much as i didn't want to, i couldn't help but smile at how cute he looked when he was blushing.

mrs. lee walked into the dining area a few moments later and made eye contact with me, which led to the realization that it was already eight and i was supposed to have been in her room already. branson stared at me while i stood up and i only glanced at him before i walked towards the door.

the walk to her office was silent, i was glad she didn't feel the need to bring up branson and i sitting at the same table. it didn't mean anything and i didn't want her to think it meant anything.

"how have you been delilah?"

"pretty good, i guess."

"is there anything specific you want to talk about?"

"i know you saw branson and i sitting together, and i don't want you to think it means anything. he told me he was having a hard time and he didn't want to sit alone, that was all."

"why are you so afraid to get close to him? i know that garrett dying hurt you, but are you really going to live the rest of your life afraid?"

"i don't want someone else to leave me. if i let myself get close to branson he's just going to kill himself. that's exactly what garrett did."

"branson and garrett aren't the same person. maybe branson will get better and you'll both get out of here."

"you can't guarantee that."

"you can't guarantee anything, delilah. how did you feel when garrett was still here, when you guys were together?"

"i was happy, i guess."

"wouldn't you like to have that happiness with someone again? i'm not telling you to go fall in love with branson, but just being his friend could potentially make you both happier. i know it isn't guaranteed but you should at least try doing something that could make life worth living to you."

i didn't respond and eventually it was the end of my therapy session. i stood and left the room before she could say anything else to me.

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