"What life is all about" is my favorite line in one of my most favorite songs. But what life is all about by the way?
As an inexperienced creature in this whole wide world is what I've been proud of as I thought I have not yet sinned God since I have done nothing against him. I always thought that I am good, I am the perfect creature he made of.. such thoughts made me think that I am absolutely perfect (just my thoughts, in my dreams) for nobody is perfect.
“Whatever you imagine” as the pagemaster's theme song is my favorite song ever. "Whatever you imagine is real" is a qoute I always tried to believe.. People would imagine many things they wanted to, but can it be real?
Dreaming and imagining is one of my greatest hobbies. I am fond of going somewhere with myself and think of impossibilities. I tried to believe such quote and it works, without using any drugs to make you high but with your dreams you aim up high. I have gone somewhere and I know you won't believe. It was so fantastic, fictitious and very much imaginative. Sometimes I think to invite you there but I don’t want you to think that I am insane. I always love to stroll around (how I wish) though wandering is so expensive but in my imaginary world it is very much priceless. . It is for free. Everybody is welcome and invited.
In this world where I've been for a long time, I am already getting used to it. They had adopted me since I was young and this is where I hide when my real world seems to be so tough. This is where I make believe that everything will just be fine and will be gone like magic. This place is heaven to me because this is where I'm filled with greatest joy. This place didn't give me such a hard time to recover my pains. They always helped me up when sadness reign within me.. I am nothing without them. I will be sad when my imaginary world will be gone.
I know you'll be asking who composes such imaginary world of mine.. My imaginary world is composed of only one creature - me.. It is up to me to put someone else to make me happy. I will be the one to create them and gave their roles as part of my stories and how would they help me to recover my greatest fear to face pain. In this world, everybody can talk like of those in fairytales we watched.. We all know that life is just like a book, we made those pages and that's what all I do. I am working on my own book, both real and imaginative but imaginative world is quite interesting.
Ask me why I prefer such world? Aside from getting used to it, as my comfort zone, this is where I learned a lot of things, lessons, and many others. This world is my training ground on how to face life.. I am totally dependent. I'm trying myself to be more independent in my visionary world that if I could adopt it into my real life, I will be able to know what life is all about.
At present, I am so immature then, mom and friends always told me bout it.. My younger sis was the one who was acting on my age. She scolds me more than my mom when I came home late, woke up late and not at home on weekends or holidays.. I know its not right for her to do that for she had forgotten our gap but I let her do it anyway, coz this is when I felt that she cares for me and even though I felt that I was deprived to, I'm happy.. to know that my younger sis had grown up. I'd better be in the cage forever than to be free coz with them I felt the greatest happiness. I'd better be always in jail than to leave them. I quit dancing coz I don't want to come home late. I would sacrifice my happiness for them for I had miss a lot of things that I need to fill in.. This is what life is all about for me.. Selfishness is not a hindrance of my happiness.. They were not selfish. They just want to remind me that they are still breathing, they miss me and so I. I better give them time to get together for I was with my friends / dancemates whole day and come home late and just saw them asleep already. Having this life is hard, thats why I had created another world to survive.
Tonight, I am starting to close my eyes; I'm starting to wander my imaginations where happiness is. I'm now dreaming and hear the voices of my friends coming. I'm now creating the way to a joyous journey. Now they're coming, I could hear their sweet voices singing. Do you want to go with me? I’ll bring you there.. Now start concentrating whatever you imagine is real.. ;-)
