All of us were having our fear factors. Commonly, afraid of snakes, cockroaches, rats and many others. I’m not afraid to them what I am afraid of is death.. Death is my greatest fear.. I dont know what to do if someone I love the most will be gone.. Or what if I? Can I still accept it?
Once there was a palm reader who told me what my fortune will be, she said my life is miserable, full of troubles and complexity.. I was really upset then knowing what my fortune will be. But they say such is just a warning for us to change our ways as we are the one who makes and handles our own life. Such desperateness I faced and felt, made me think to leave life of today to end my tomorrows. There are many more mornings to wake up to but more sadness I know would hinder my happiness. I'm thinking to stop challenging life, as life is very much unfair..
Are you familiar with the death clock? If not, don't dare get to know more about it coz when you'll find it, you'll just be sad. Death clock tells the age and the time when you are going to die, even though I don’t believe on it but just thinking what if it's true? I had already searched the time when I'll say bye to my dual world. I knew it.. It tells maybe its about on my 60's.. It means to say long years to suffer pain and happiness and more years to hide into my imaginative land.
As death was all my fear, I'm afraid to go somewhere that's why I'm always on my other world to wander. There I'm safe, no harm and troubles, only those witches may scare me, kill me but there, there's a fairy god mother that would protect me from their wickedness.
Things I'm afraid of:
-scolded
-lightning, thunderstorms, heavy rains
-crossing the street
- Going far places by riding planes and ships
- Heights
- Deep sea or ocean
-alone (losing my family and friends)
-pains, injuries, accidents, nightmares
-afraid of consequences, trials
-end of the world
Such fears within me hinders my happiness, as they say, I missed such experiences that define what life is. They always told me to go out on my cage and learn many things outside, as I was getting more dependent and contented just by staying in my comfort zone. They easily get irritated every time I say “I don’t like to go there because I'm afraid..” afraid of many things.
How can I learn more of just staying and looking on one place? How can I appreciate the beauty of the world? How can I define life? What kind of happiness am I feeling now? Am I totally happy?
These questions were not hard. For me, I don’t need to go somewhere just to learn more things because, of that walls I’ve always faced, I learned more than of it, I learn to explore what's behind that walls. Through that exploration I could see the beauty of simplicity, staring of such wall is very much pathetic but what can you see when you had concentrated to know some things behind it, you’ll realize wall is not just a wall, it tells things that made you asks a lot of questions, this is where you could perceived things thoroughly, asking question why and thinking of some things that would make you think deeper.
Why do I need to go somewhere when there’s a wall that may teach me more? I had already appreciated what the world is, coz from the time I was delivered, the world had welcomed me to live these years, the world never gave up to suffer the cruelty of men to nature, such sufferings the world made showed me the beauty of its heart. The love it brings to us, the world provides shelter for we are homeless, and this made me appreciate what the world can be. So this is how I define life. Life is what you make it, wherever you are, whatever you do, life must go on, as long as you’re happy to what you did, decide and think its life. . Whenever you’re sad and in tears, it’s life. Nothing can change my happiness for it is my life; don’t teach me to do this, to do that, to go there because it's my life. So, I’m happy, not because we need to be happy sometimes but I’m happy because I’m happy. My happiness can’t be measured not just by doing such great things but also how my happiness can bring much joy to my family. I am totally happy, because i know they were happy, I am happy and everything is okay..
