This Girl I Met

18

The next day, things got pretty awkward. 

The whole afternoon, the school has provided training to the whole team, due to the important game coming this evening. It's the first home match, and basically the whole school will be here supporting us. So, after lunch this day - I ate with my usual squad, while some of the other girls were just sitting somewhere else - we all head to training. Emily doesn't even look at me. She seems tired, but also disappointed in some ways. The only thing I wanna do is go and talk to her, but that's not what she needs right now. 

So I just sit next to Moe on the locker room, listening to Cari saying how well her relationship with Nick is going. When I look up after putting my shin guards on, I immediately see Emily. She's talking with Danny and Sam, and seems to be doing just fine without me. That somehow makes me angry, but I don't do anything. 

Instead, I just get up and leave the locker room. Everybody is looking at me as if I was another person : I usually am the last person to leave this room. But I need some time alone. So imagine my despair when I see Abby Dahlkemper, sitting alone on the grass, putting her cleats on. I reluctantly sit down next to her. 

She glares at me for a second. 

"You okay ?" she asks, truly worried.

I sigh, and look at her. "I think I said something to Sonnett I shouldn't have, and now she's mad at me." I explain, surprising myself. 

I don't even know why I told that to Dahlkemper, who is supposed to hate me for what I'm doing to Sam and her. But she just nods, and then looks at the empty field that will be surrounded by hundreds of supporters in a few hours. 

"On a scale that goes from 1 to 10, how badly did you fuck up ?" she asks, thoughtful. 

"9 1/4 ?" I say in despair. 

My goofiness makes her smirk. "Maybe you should apologize. Saying 'sorry' can change lives, Lindsey." 

I stare at her. "Maybe she doesn't want a sorry." I let out, suddenly feeling pretty sad. That's never happened to me before : why am I so emotional ? I fight with my friends all the time, and after some time we become friends again, no matter how bad the insults were. That's what friendship means. "I guess there's only one way to find out." 

She nods. 

The rest of the team is arriving. When Sam walks next to us, she throws Abby a death glare and continues walking toward Cari and Danny, who are already passing the ball between them. I can see Abby's eyes turn real sad for a second, and then her resting bitch face making a comeback. I know I'm not supposed to, but I must say she's not that bad. I kinda like her. When Moe sits down on the grass as well, we start talking about the game. 

Everybody is in 'freak out mode'. I mean, hundreds of students coming to see us play against one of the toughest team of the tournament. Us, a new team that just got rebuilt, and them, a bunch of players that have been playing together for years. What could go wrong, uhn ? Abby, who seems to be reading my thoughts, just smirks. 

Hao finally arrives, and we all get up, ready to train as hard as we could for the last time before the game. 

**

5-0 is the final score. 

Jane is the first player to exit the field. I know she feels guilty. The crowd went silent five times, and we weren't able to make them cheer even once. I angrily remove the captain armband, shaking my head. 

The game turned into an horror show during the second half. Their forwards were pretty aggressive, and one of them tackled Danny so badly that she had to go out of the field. Hao had not choice but put Andi in defense, and Andressa coming in in her position. Then, it's just been very complicated to keep it going. The attacks kept on coming, and their forwards got past our defense. A mistake from Cari lead to the first goal, then a midfield shot to the second, and the three others are history. Emily didn't seem into it as well. At the moment, I am kind of angry at everyone, but mostly at myself. 

I spot my sister and her boyfriend on the side line, waiting for me. They had put a scarf with my name and number on it. I look down : being the sister of an incredible soccer player is difficult. I don't want to disappoint her. Bati is cheering, and I also spot Kling, Kealia and Ash on the crowd. I sigh. Great, they all saw us loose. 

The first thing Allie does is hugging me tight, her mouth making its way to my ear. She's always so sweet. 

"You played great, Linds. I'm proud of you." she whispers. 

I pull away from her embrace. "I didn't." I abruptly say, not willing to let her embellish my performance. "It was a disaster." 

Bati frowns. "Linds, they played nasty. Don't blame yourself, or the defense. Next game will be yours." 

"Yeah, I guess" I let out, not feeling better at all. 

As she is about to say something else, Allie just spots someone behind me and waves at her. I turn around and sigh : Emily is coming our way. She politely high-fives Bati, and then greets my sister. She then looks at me and gives me a tap on the back. She seems totally disappointed in her own performance too, but this gesture just cheers me on. 

Allie immediately says : 

"What about Bati and I cooking for your team tonight ?" 

I look around, not sure what to say. 

"Come on, gotta be lit !" Bati exclaims. "Plus, I can drive them back home if we end up having a party late at night." 

My eyes immediately look for Emily's reaction. She shyly looks at me too, and we immediately agree. 

"Fine." I let out, not that enthusiastic. "But there's no way I'm not helping you guys !" 

"Yay !" Bati lets out. 

I smirk. "You look so gay sometimes." 

"LINDSEY !" Allie yells, giving me a little tap on the shoulder. 

I burst into laughter, and we head to the locker room. 

As we are half way to our destination, I feel a cold hand grabbing my forearm. I immediately look down at Emily, who seems to have something to say to me. You should be the one apologizing first, Lindsey. Come on ! As she is about to open her mouth and say something, I blurt out : 

"I'm sorry about what I said the other day". 

She seems surprised. I am not the kind of girl to usually apologize, she knows that. Her ocean eyes are locked on me. 

"It's okay." she thoughtfully lets out. "You were right somehow. I am damaged." 

Without even thinking about the words that are leaving my mouth, I face her fully and say in a confident tone : 

"Let me fix you then." 

I immediately blush, willing to slap myself in the face right now. I see Emily's eyes going wide, and then her facial expression being unreadable. Did I say something wrong ? Or too weird to sound like a friendly thing ? Argh, why am I so stupid ? 

She frowns and raises her eyebrows in the same time (who even knew it was freaking possible ?) and tries to keep a straight face, even though her cheeks are becoming red. 

"W-what did you just say ?" she stammers. 

Think. "Uhm, I mean, well..." I start, but I immediately stop talking, knowing that I really had to come out stronger right now. "Let me help you. I'm here, so let me do something. Anything that could help you." 

She frowns. 

As I am willing to open my mouth again, I am just interrupted in my messed-up thoughts by Emily. She has rushed into my arms, wrapping hers around my waist, holding me tighter than ever. I immediately respond by hugging her as well, my arms around her. Since she's smaller than I am, I can rest my chin on her forehead, before kissing the top of her head with a softness I didn't even know I'm capable of. 

When I encounter that she's crying, I feel this intimate need to remind her that : 

"I'm here, Emily. And I'm not going anywhere."