This Girl I Met

21

I hope you won't look at me differently.

This sentence has been going around in circles for the last eight hours. 

Emily and I have no class together on Friday. I didn't even try to find her, because I didn't want to see her here, with everybody around us. I had something to tell her, but I didn't want anyone to hear it. 

After school, I decided to straight to the hospital. Emma Sonnett's doctor recognized me and led me to her room. Once it's just the two of us, I close the door and make sure nobody is watching. I sit on her bed, uncomfortable. I don't really know why I came here, but after Emily's reveal, and then what's been going on in my head, I needed to see her. I know it's sounds crazy, not only because I don't really know her, but she also is my friend's sister. When I look at her, I see another version of Emily. And I need to talk to her. 

I swallow my saliva in pain, and then starts in a weak voice : 

"Hey, Emma. It's Lindsey." I sigh : why am I here anyway ? I look at the blonde, and then my voice comes out again : "I hope you don't mind me being here. Not as if you had any choice anyway, right ?" I laugh. "So, Em told me about what happened that night... And I guess I wanted to make sure you knew she loves you." 

As I am watching Emma's closed face, I just feel my heart bonding against my chest. I take her hand in mine, just because that's what people usually do. The only thought of Emily is causing my stomach to be jumping upside down. I shake my head. 

I put my attention back on her. 

"I don't know how to do this, Emma. I want to help your sister so badly, I don't even know why. But I don't know how. What if I'm not enough ?" I look down at my hands. "Actually, I might like her. You sister, I mean. I might like her." 

I take a small break. Why am I even saying all those things ? Because you're stupid and desperate, remember ? I crack a smile at how stupid I am. 

"If there's one thing I know, it's that she wants you back. She needs her sister. I really hope you're not mad at her. She didn't do it on purpose. She's the most amazing person I've ever met, hands down. I am glad my path crossed hers. And I'm sure you're proud of her too, Emma. You need to come back. You have to."

I slowly get up, wiping the few tears I have on my face away. I then look at her, my arms crossed on my chest. 

"You got this, Emma." I say, before leaving. 

**   

I get home, and everyone is looking at me as if I am a ghost. 

Allie immediately drags me to her room, quickly followed by Tobin and Ashlyn. We lock ourselves up inside, while I am sitting on the bed. My eyes must be red, because my sister wouldn't act this way if not. 

"What happened ?" she asks, frowning. 

She really is concerned about me. She always is, but this time it's different. I usually never cry, but the whole situation with Emily is disturbing. What do I do now seems to be the biggest question of my life. I've never felt more concerned about somebody else's problems in my entire life. And here I am now, with only Emily on my mind. 

Is it more than friendly feelings I have toward her ? Is that even possible ? Do I have a heart after all ? The questions just go through my messy head. 

My sister's friends are all over me, Tobin wrapping her arm around my shoulders, as Allie is just kneeling in front of me, putting her hands on my legs. She slowly caress them. That's what she used to do when we were kids and that I was sad about my parents. Her intense gaze is planted in mine. 

I shake my head. 

"What... I mean..." I start, but immediately stop. I take a moment to just breathe. "What if you find out something about someone you care about, and it's bad stuff and you don't know how to fix it ?" I ask. 

I can see Ashlyn moving next to me. 

"Maybe you can fix this..." my sister says is a sweet voice. "Or fix her." 

"Her ?" I repeat, totally freaking out. 

Do they know about my... 'crush'? Am I screwed ? I don't want people to know about it when I don't get it myself ! 

"Yeah, the person" Allie says, frowning. "Who did you think I was talking about ?" 

"Never mind" I mutter. 

Ashlyn takes my hand in hers, which catches my attention. I can see Allie sit down on the ground from the corner of my eye, while Tobin isn't moving a bit, her arm still around me. They really are amazing. 

"Lindsey... I have to ask you something." the keeper slowly says, her eyes making back and forth between me and my sister. "Is this about Emily ?" 

I start freaking out again, but this time Tobin cuts it short : "We figured she would've talked to you about what is happening in her family, since you two seems to be close friends now" she explains, and I immediately relax. 

"Yeah, it's about Emily." I say, relieved. "She told me what happened with her dad and it's... bad. Really bad, and sad, and... I don't know what to say to her. I don't want her to feel judged by me or something..." 

Allie cracks a smile. "No matter how useless you think you are Linds, I'm sure just having her friend around is enough for her. You should go and visit her." 

"But, what if she's not home and her mom is ?" I ask, pulling it together. 

"Then, you kick her fat ass" Tobin lets out. 

I can see Allie kicking her in the legs, while Ash and I just burst into laughter. I smile, and for the first time today I am determined to see her. 

But when I reach her home, and before I can even ring at the door, the door opens by itself, and Emily is rushing out of it. She crashes into me, and I can see the excitement and the joy on her face for the first time since I met her. She takes a step back. 

"What-" I start. 

"She's awake !" she screams, literally jumping into my arms again. "Emma ! She's awake ! The hospital just called !" 

"Woah, Em, that's-" 

"A miracle !" she interrupts again, smiling widely. "Wanna come with ?" 

"Sure" I say. "Let me ask Allie to drive us, we'll be there quicker."

Never have I seen her smile like this, and this is the exact moment I know I really have fallen for her. And there's no way back. Because I don't want that smile to ever fade, I want it to last forever. And I wanna be the reason she smiles. 

She grabs my arm as we are running to my house, looking for Allie.