Insane ★ Wade Wilson [1]

F I V E

"AM I UGLY?" THE MERCENARY asked randomly after an hour of silence.

"Yes." Marley said in all seriousness, not moving her eyes from the screen of the television. She noticed his silence and turned to face him. "I'm ugly now too, you're not alone. It doesn't matter what Vanessa thinks about your looks," She brought up, remembering Wade saying that he went to visit his ex-girlfriend when he came back, "As long as she enjoys your fucked up personality and riding your dick, then you're all good."

"And what if she doesn't? What if she goes running for the hills screaming that she's being chased by a giant testicle." Wade asked insecurely.

"Then you come to me, and we can fuck away each other's fugliness." She said as she got up from the couch and kissed his flaked cheek. It wasn't in a romantic way, more of a thank you gesture for saving her life. No amount of cheek kisses would repay what he had done for her. Wade was used to it by now, but was still confused as to why she did it willingly. He wanted his Ryan Reynolds face back.

"Now come on, you overgrown dick. You said you wanted to meet up with a friend. Weasel, wasn't it?"

"Yeah. God, he's gonna laugh his little nerd head off when he sees us."

"And I'll probably laugh when I see his face so we'll be even."

They came up to the bar the Wade usually got his mercenary jobs from and knocked on the door. The bar was closed, but Wade knew that Weasel would still be inside. The guy practically lived there. In fact, he probably did. The peek hole slid open and Marley could see a pair of on the other side from under her hood. 

"Weasel." Wade greeted, hiding his own face by looking at the ground with a black hoodie on.

"Whose talking?" The man asked from the other side of the door, squinting his eyes at the two shay figures.

"It's me Wade."

Weasel shut the peep hole in reply, making the two think that he left them. But, then the door opened revealing a guy with long blonde hair and glasses. Marley laughed at his face when she saw him, true to her word from earlier.

"And her?" He asked wade, nodding his head in the pale woman's direction.

"Marley Kinn. I'm a friend."

"Well alright then, come on in. Where have you been, you've been gone for weeks. Everyone thought you ran away and died!"

"It's a long story." Wade sighed, walking into the bar with Marley.

"Bar's closed, I got all night. You two sit down, I'll get you a drink."

"I'll have a blowjob."

"Don't start that again."

"Ooo, that sounds like fun. Can I help? You're talking about the drink right? But, if you really want a real one, I'd do it. For a price."