In My Sister's Shadow (Book 1)

6. Decision Time.

"Yes, Mrs Uddin I've explained to you that once your landlord calls the office I will let you know when he will fix the boiler." I removed the phone from my ear in frustration. "Yes- I understand that you don' t have any hot water or heating, but I am trying my best." I pressed. 

For the past twenty minutes Mrs Uddin complained of the impact of a faulty boiler. Her landlord was another one of those lazy, money grabbing criminals that had no care in the world about his tenants.

"Everything okay?" Sadaqat walked into the office. I shook my head at him and rolled my eyes as he took the phone off me and dealt with Mrs Uddin. Once he completed the call I vented my frustration. 

"I've told dad a million times not to take on shoddy landlords with dangerous properties. But he never listens!" I shot to my feet in fury with my father's money grabbing tactics. But it wasn't just his shoddy dealership that troubled, it was the silence that gripped our home since dad asked me to marry Zayn.

"What's wrong Zohra?" Sadaqat shut the door. 

Sadaqat was less of a cousin more of an older reliable brother. Being Uncle Rashiq's son, dad treated him like a son that he never had. So, not only was he a close part of our family, dad trusted him with the business. 

Plonking myself on the seat, my shoulders slumped with the collosal decision which lingered over my head like a cloud. "Dad wants me to marry Zayn!" I blurted.

"Oh?" He replied in a relaxed tone.

"What do you mean oh? Aren't you shocked? Surprised. Dad hated him..sorry..no,, that was past tense. Dad HATES him!" I emphasised throwing my arms into the air. "You seen the showdown, now all of a sudden he wants to throw little red riding hood to the big bad wolf! I don't understand!"

A million questions ricocheted in my mind. It didn't add up. When I confronted mum this morning, I was left confused.

"Why do I have to marry Zayn to take care of the children?" I shadowed mum as she kneaded the dough.

"Beti, we cannot allow you to Walsall alone. Once you enter a nikaah no one can raise their eyebrow. You don't understand what people are saying."

"So, we give in to gossip? Dad hates him, what made him change his mind?"

Mum covered the bowl with a cloth and washed her hands. "I talked to your father and he realised he was being irrational. We have to think of the long road ahead. We have to think of our culture and faith. The children are our only lineage, what if they lose their faith? Do you want that on their head?"

"No, mum." I recoiled in my seat. "Why would they lose their faith? Zayn is a Muslim" I groaned.

"Imagine he marries that pretty neighbour, then what? He will move away and we can't stop him. You will never see the children, would you be able to live with that? Knowing we couldn't keep Zeenat's dying wish? Would you be happy in another marriage, knowing your nephew and nieces are living with an evil step mum? We must look after our own. We cannot expect strangers to do it. This is your calling. " Mum effortlessly piled on the pressuring making my shoulders slope and back crouch.

"I love the children. There is no doubt about that."

"It's just-" There was more to a marriage than just the children. How could I tell my mum I was worried about intimacy?

He was Zeenat's husband; it would be wrong for him to think about me like that. And the thought of intimacy never passed my mind. After my short stint marriage to Amjad, the idea of sharing a bed with another man filled me with trepidation. I just about grew comfortable with Amjad, and abruptly my marriage ended. My rigid tense muscles wouldn't relax around him. His hands were cold and clammy and his parents slept in the next room with paper thin walls. We had to keep our voice and movements down to a whisper.