Mommy Winchester

Part 19

Well, you were, admittedly, impressed.
This was not a bunker.
Not like you'd pictured, anyway.
It was amazing.
And Cail was already gasping as he saw how big it was, his eyes going wide as Dean carried him down the winding stairs to the main floor.
"What do you think?" Sam asks, looking amused as he sets the bags in the floor, his arm leaving yours where he'd been helping you down the stairs.
You were a little wobbly, for some reason.
"It's awesome!" Cail bursts, squirming until Dean puts him down. "Can I explore!?"
Dean glances at you, and you nod.
"Sure, kiddo. Just don't get too lost - here," Dean fumbles in his pocket, them tosses Cail his phone. "If you can't find your way, call your mama or Sam, alright?"
"Yep!"
And - Cail was gone.
You chuckle as you hear his shoes against the hardwood slowly getting lighter.
"How big is this place?" you ask, leaning against the long table where you can see open books and manuscripts tossed everywhere. You figure it must be some kind of meeting table or something.
"Uh, we're not completely sure yet, we keep finding more and more rooms every time we start looking." Sam shrugs. "So your guess is as good as mine. You wanna pick a room?"
"Maybe later. Where's the kitchen?'
"You would ask that," Dean chuckles, earning a light smack to the chest.
"Don't be an ass, Dean!"
He grins, then lightly threads his fingers through yours before pulling you after him. You sigh, letting him lead you, still tired.
You just couldn't get enough sleep lately, it seemed.
"Wow, you could feed an army in here," you comment as you see the layout, raising your brows. "And it's just you and Sam?"
"Well, now it's you and Cail, too," Dean says after a moment, looking down at you. "For as long as you want. Cail can start school here, or you can home school him, or he can even go online and -."
He'd apparently put a lot of thought into this.
You shake your head.
"I'd rather he go to a public school, Dean." you sigh, rubbing your eyes as you lean back against the small round table. "I want his life normal. I..."
You want a home again.
You want Cail to wake up safe in his own bed, with a real house to go through, with you able to make him breakfast and send him off on the bus. You want him to come home and be able to bring his friends over and them to play or whatever and -.
"(Y/N)?"
"Hmm?"
"Is something wrong?"
"Oh, no, I -."
"(Y/N)."
You sigh.
"I want him to have a normal life, okay? I don't want him to stay in this place, as grand as it might be," you gesture around vaguely. "Because it's *not* normal, it's -."
"A hunters life, I get it." Dean looks down at his hands, scarred and calloused, bruised. The bunker was great, but it was a hunters, a home base.
Not a real home.
Not like what you had.
And he'd destroyed by showing up in town.
He frowns.
"I'm sorry," he mutters after a moment. "I know you had a good life in that town, and then we showed up and -."
"It was bound to happen, Dean. My neighbors were Lamias, for -."
"But they were good to you, until then, they -."
"Dean, I -."
"Mommy!"
Your eyes flick over as Cail suddenly bursts into the kitchen, grinning.
"What is it?"
"I found cars!"
"You found cars?"
"There's a garage," Dean chuckles, lifting his son into his arms. "Full of old cars and stuff from the people before us."
Oh.
Cail probably had a fit when he found it.
"You wanna see?" Dean asks after a moment.
No.
You shake your head.
"Maybe later," you sigh. "I kind of just want a nap. Which is what you need too," you tell Cail, who pulls a rebellious expression.
"But -."
"Nap," you say firmly, and he huffs.
He doesn't want a nap.
He wants to explore.
Why does he need a nap!?
He frowns, dark brows furrowing, and his mouth opens to argue, his eyes raising belligerently to yours.
Any argument he has dies immediately on his tongue.
That was your No Arguments face.
And he knows better.
"Okay," he acquiesces almost immediately, and Dean looks over in surprise.
Well.
How the hell did he learn how to make that face?
You smile at Cail, and lean forward, kissing his forehead.
"Did you find a room you liked?"
"Yup!"
"Well, let's go and get your things unpacked then, okay?"
Cail hesitates as you ruffle your hair.
"Mommy?"
"Yes, baby?"
"Can De... Can Daddy do it Instead?"
You stare at him
Dean stares at him.
You both look at each other.
Oh.
"Sure," Dean says, a smile rising on his lips as he looks at Cail, and you can see it in those big green eyes of his; Cail had him wrapped around his finger.
You sigh as you shake your head.
"Go on," you mumble, shaking your head.
This was ridiculous.
Men.
Dean grins at you, then carries his son towards his new bedroom, both of them chatting back and forth.
Cail would be ruined by the time you... Left.
And you were leaving, weren't you?
Weren't you?
Shit.
You don't know.
But you are tired.
You sigh as you gaze around the kitchen, absently letting your hands rest on the table behind you.
Dean and Sam had a nice place going for them.
A nice home.
Sort of.
"Hey."
"Hey, Sammy."
"You feeling okay?"
"Yeah," you nod, forcing a smile at him as he enters the kitchen. He smiles at you, turning to lean against the counter with you.
"I think you'll like it here until you get better."
"I am better, Cas -."
"Healed you physically," Sam gently interrupts you, reaching his arm around your shoulder and drawing you to his side. You sigh, letting your head rest against his shoulder.
You had missed this with Sam.
He'd been a better brother to you the few times you'd been around him then your own brothers had been.
"I know there's something still wrong," Sam continues after a moment, looking at you beneath his lashes. "You're not... You're tired all the time, and you go somewhere, where the rest of us aren't. What's going on with you? Are you still hurting or -?"
"No," you shake your head, both annoyed and touched he cared enough to say something. "I'm fine, Sam, really. Just recovering is all. Thank you, though."
"Yeah, just..." Sam sighs as he runs a hand through his hair; he wants to help you, but he doesn't know how. You were like his little sister, and Dean was so crazy about that kid, Sam knew you wouldn't be going anywhere soon.
And he also knows, someone needs to take care of you since you couldn't yourself.
And Dean, well, he could barely take care of himself; he wouldn't know what to do.
Sam grimaces, and then presses a soft kiss into your hair before leaning away
"You go get some rest, alright? I'll be around if you need me."
"Okay, thanks, Sam."
"No problem... Samantha."
You chuckle, and lean up, pressing a soft kiss to his stubbled cheek.
"I love you, Sammy. I hope you know that."
"I love you too, (Y/N)."
~~~~~~
You shamelessly look at Deans things, gazing around his messy bedroom. It looked like a hurricane had come through, clothes and other personal items tossed carelessly around his unmade bed.
He needs a maid.
You'd walked by the room Cail had picked out, had leaned against the wall and just listened to Dean read to him, letting your head rest against the wall.
Dean loved Cail.
You can see that.
And you still love Dean
Always had, always will.
That was your problem.
You sigh as you lift up a picture of him and Sam as kids, placed crookedly in a frame that was too big.
Yeesh.
"You like what you see?"
You glance over at Dean, seeing him standing in the doorway, arms crossed as he leans against the doorjam.
"I see two dorky kids with bad haircuts," you chuckle, setting the picture down.
Deans lips twitch, and he pushes from the door to come stand by your side, reaching for your hand. He twines his fingers through yours, giving them a squeeze.
"I'm... Glad you're here," he says after a moment. "I never thought I'd see you again, I -."
"I know, Dean," you murmur, your eyes flicking up to his. "I know.
Dean gazes at you, giving you a crooked smile as you turn, leaning your hips against the dresser, fingers still in his.
"You know I love you, Dean. I always have."
"I know."
"But I love Cail more. And I will always put him first. So if I think that staying here isn't good for him, I -."
Dean kisses you.
His hands cup your face, thumbs caressing your soft skin as his lips meld against yours, warm and loving.
You practically melt immediately.
You can't help it.
Deans hands lower from your face, slipping to your hips and curling into your jeans as your arms curl around his neck, fingers clenching in his short hair.
"I love you," Dean breathes against your lips, pulling away to gaze into your eyes. "I love you so much. And I love Cail. You're my family. I would kill for you, I -."
"just shut up and kiss me already."
Dean grins.
He kisses you deeply, parting your lips and exploring your mouth, learning you all over again. You feel his hands tighten around your waist as he pulls you closer, kicking the door shut with his boot.
"Cail asleep?" you whisper, pulling away slightly.
"Yeah."
"Then we got twenty, maybe thirty minutes."
"I can work with that," Dean chuckles, already umbuttoning the front of your shirt.
He always could.
~~~~~
Dean plays absently with your hair as you lay beside him, sleeping soundly. The sheet was pulled up to your waist, and he gazes at the tattoo on your lower back, the anti-possesion symbol dark against your skin.
Of all the places you could gave gotten it...
He smiles slightly.
He'd missed you.
You had no idea how many times he'd thought of you over the years, how your memory and your quirks had helped him keep going.
Sam had just said you'd disappeared, so he'd always hoped you were still alive, skulking about somewhere causing trouble in the way you do.
And then to just find you like that, out of the blue...
Could it really have just been luck?
What were the odds him and Sam had been the hunters to come to your town?
What if it had been someone else?
He just couldn't believe it.
You look the same, you hadnt aged at all.
You were a little more shy of your body now, he'd noticed, but he didn't care about your stretch marks or blemishes; you'd gotten them from carrying Cail, his son, and that only made him love you more.
How many times could he tell you that before you believed him?
Before you didn't look at him uncertainly?
He sighs, pressing his lips into your shoulder.
You'd both showered, put on some clothes, "just in case", you'd told Dean.
Right.
Because you were parents now.
Wonderful.
It would definitely take some getting used too.
He'd always liked waking up naked, with the woman beside him just the same.
Not that he was dumb enough to say that to you.
He frowns, letting himself Lower onto his back, gazing up at his ceiling.
His life was abruptly so different.
He had a kid.
A kid that he had to watch out for, keep from the life, make sure was raised right -.
And you want Cail to have a normal life.
The bunker was great, but was it really the right place for a kid?
Did he not need a stable place to stay?
Him and Sam would be going constantly, leaving you and Cail on your own here.
And really... Dean wasn't so sure you should be alone.
You were... Different.
You kept getting an absent look, and whatever you were doing you would stop, a vacant look on your face.
He wasn't sure what was wrong, and he sure as hell didn't know how to fix it.
He would have to talk to Castiel about it, when he got the chance.
But for now -.
His eyes flick to his door as it starts to creak hesitantly, and he sits up immediately, reaching automatically for the weapon on his night stand.
"Mommy?" a small voice asks.
Cail.
Oh.
Dean relaxes, and reaches over to flick on the wall lamp, yawning.
Cail was dressed in those ridiculous Toy Story pajamas, rubbing his eyes as he stands in the doorway with mixmatched socks.
"Hey, buddy," Dean says softly, not wanting to wake you.
"Daddy?"
"Yeah." Dean wasn't used to hearing that, and it was obvious to him that Cail wasn't used to saying it; he switched back and forth between Daddy and Dean.
But he appreciated the effort.
"Can I sleep with you?"
"Sure, c'mere."
You'd said this might happen.
Cail didn't like sleeping in strange places. It would take him a couple weeks before he was comfortable enough to stay in a room by himself.
Dean thought it was a little ridiculous, but he had no idea how to parent.
Cail hurries to the side of the bed, and Dean reaches for him, curling his hands beneath his arms and lifting him up; he doubts Cail could have climbed up easily.
"Can't sleep by yourself?"
"Uh-uh."
Dean chuckles, running his hands through Cails hair softly, a habit he'd gotten from you. Cail gives a sleepy smile before settling between you and Dean, tucking himself between the covers.
Deans lips twitch.
He glances over at you as you stir, your eyes opening slightly and focusing on Cail before closing again, your arm reaching forward to curl around him and drag him into the curve of your body, as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
And, Dean supposes, it was.
Cail nods off almost immediately in your arms, and Dean sighs as he settles back, listening to both of your breathing.
Peaceful.
Safe.
He let's his eyes trail the curve of your face in the dim light of the lamp.
He should marry you.
Make an "honest " woman out of you.
Although you'd punch him if he said that to you.
But it would be the right thing to do if that's what you want.
It didn't even occur to him that he'd ever want another woman, look at one.
And there was no one around to stop the two of you from being together this time.
Sam was all Dean had, and you just had Cail.
Dean has no idea about your father, he just hopes he never has to deal with the man again.
No one needed to know about you and Cail, not after you'd worked so hard to make sure both of you were off the grid.
But, Dean does want to make sure both of you have the right last name.
Cail was a Winchester after all.
And you were a mommy Winchester.
Deans lips quirk slightly.
Mommy Winchester.
He likes the sound of that.
And if everything was different, maybe the two of you could have had more kids, add a brother or sister to the mix for Cail.
But you would never agree to that.
And Dean wouldn't bring another child into the world that was already so messed up and doomed.
And yet, he hadn't exactly been thinking about protection earlier, and you weren't exactly on birth control; you hadnt felt there was a need for it under your former circumstances.
So, as "fate" might have it, maybe there was another Winchester on the way, maybe that's the reason the man in the light hadn't wanted you to go just yet, you still had more to do.
Or maybe he'd just been a figment of your dying mind.
You wouldn't know for a long, long time.
Not until you meet him in person, Dean and Sam fond of him, hugging him and telling him they were shocked to see him still alive.
Calling him "Chuck"....