Mommy Winchester

Part 18

“No!” Dean gasps, throwing himself forward. He grabs your face between his hands, his chest tightening so badly he felt as if he couldn’t breathe.
No!
You couldnt go!
Not when they could save you!
“Cas —.” the angels name tears desperately from his lips. “Please!”
“It’s her time to go!” Tessa snaps, stepping forward., throwing her arm out to Bar Cas from stepping forward. “Let her be at peace for once!”
“I’m not going to let her go!” Dean hisses, glowering at her. “She’s not going, she’s —.”
“Mommy!”
Dean twists, seeing all the commotion had woke Cail, who was now crawling out of the chair and straight onto the bed, a frightened look on his pale face.
“Mommy, Mommy! No! Don’t leave me, Mommy, no!”
He reaches forward, pressing his face into your shoulder as his arms clamp around you, holding onto you tightly.
“Mommy!” he weeps, clinging to you. “Mommy, please! Please don’t go! Don’t go on vacation, don’t leave me!”
Dean feels like he’s choking.
Cail was clinging so tightly to you, begging you not to die, not to leave him alone — you were all he had in the world, all he’d ever known, he couldn’t let you leave him!
“Cas,” Dean grinds out, reaching for the angel and dragging him forward. Tessa steps forward to intervene, an aggravated look on her face, only for Sam and Crowley to flank the bed, stopping her.
“I wouldn’t try anything, love,” Crowley says, gazing at her. “This one needs to live.”
“She’s needs to go in peace, demon, it’s her time! Making her stay here will only bring her more pain!”
“You’re not taking my mommy!”
Tessas eyes flick over Sams shoulder, meeting the green of Cails as he stares at her, a fiercely protective look on his face. His lips were trembling, his body tensed as he stares the reaper down. The intense look on his face was one she’d seen Dean wear many times, so she was no stranger to it.
After all the years she’d been a reaper, she’d taken many to where they needed to be, and after a while it had stopped bothering her. Normally, she wasn’t seen, just the silent guide to help the souls move on.
And yet….
Seeing Cail, crying and trying to protect what was left of your broken body, it made her sad.
“This is out of my hands,” she sighed, gazing at your beaten form. Cas was already leaning over you, Cail staring at him with wide eyes as his hand hovers above your forehead, glowing white. “I’m just following orders; she was ready to go, it’s her time. You know the damage it creates if a soul doesn’t go when they must. You know what happens, Dean.”
Dean did know.
He remembered.
Death had made sure he knew what happened.
But he didn’t care.
He didn’t care if half the world died so you could live.
Because he wouldn’t let you go.
Not now that he’d found you, not now that he knew you could be a family, that you had a baby together.
So fuck death.
Fuck all of it.
“She’s not going with you, Tessa,” he shook his head, clenching his fists. “You can tell Death that. And if anyone comes for her, they’ll have to go through me first.”
Tessa sighs.
Winchesters.
Always so dramatic.
“You better hope she agrees with your decision,” she said after a moment, crossing her arms. “That she really did want to stay. Because otherwise… Well, you’ll find out soon enough.”
And with that, Tessas gone.
Dean turns to you, gazing at you as Cas suddenly lifts his hand away from you, his face gray. Your body is calm again, the machine beeping steadily, and you’re laying there
But you’re not moving.
“Cas?’ Deans voice is uncertain.
"I have healed her body,” Cas manages, sitting down heavily in the chair Cail had vacated; his face was gray, eyes sunken back; he’d used all the grace it took to heal you. He could see you meant a lot to Dean, and he knew all that you had gone through in order for your child to be safe.
He admires your strength.
And if there was any woman who could survive the Winchester curse, it would be you.
Dean and Sam had already shown that they didn’t adhere to fates designs, or that of anyone’s; maybe you would be the same.
He hopes so, for Deans sake.
“Why isn’t Mommy waking up?” Cail sniffles, wiping his eyes.
“I don’t know,” Dean hesitates, and then lifts his son into his arms, turning as the door is suddenly thrusts open, your doctor and two nurses barreling into the room.
The doctor shoves his way to your side, his eyes flicking to your monitor in confusion before back to you as he checks you.
Cail wraps his arms around Deans neck, sniffling as his father steps back worriedly, his eyes not leaving your face.
Sam and Crowley look at each other.
They’d spent the entire time tracking down rogue angels with Cas, trying to find one that was so far gone Cas wouldn’t have any qualms stealing their grace.
It hadn’t been hard to find one.
The hard part had been getting back.
Even with Crowley.
Who felt that he was helping far too much.
Demons shouldn’t help angels or Winchesters.
And yet there he was.
Helping the buggers.
He sighs.
“What’s wrong? What are you checking?” Dean asks, irritated at the doctors silence as he stares down at you.
“Her vitals; they’re… Perfect.” the doctors brows furrow. “Which I don’t understand. In her condition  —.”
Your eyes flutter.
Your head starts to turn, your eyes glazed as they open.
“Mommy!” Cail gasps, reaching forward immediately.
“Out!” the doctor gasps as you start to choke, your hand rising to the tubing in your mouth and going down your throat.
“But — mommy!”
“It’s okay, Cail,” Dean obediently steps outside with the others, the doors slamming shut behind him. “They’re just taking her tubing out; she can breathe on her own now. We can go back in soon.”
Cail stares at Dean, eye level with him, and then he turns His serious gaze, which Dean was pretty sure he’d gotten from you, on Cas.
“Are you an angel?” he asks after a moment, and Cas slowly looks at the small boy where he leans heavily against the wall.
“I once was.”
“You saved my mommy, didn’t you?”
“I tried too.”
Cail frowns.
“You saved her,” he says firmly, nodding his head. “You said you healed her. So she’s fixed, right?”
Everyone just looks at him, unsure how to respond.
Well this is awkward, Crowley thinks.
“Welp, I do believe I’ll be going,” he says after a moment. “My work here’s done. I fixed your angel buddy, and when baby mama is back on her feet, I’ll see all of you in Vegas.”
“Crowley —.”
“Adios, boys!”
Cails eyes widen.
“He just disappeared!” he gasps.
“He does that a lot,” Dean grumbles, shuffling Cail on his hip.
His eyes flick to Sam where he leans heavily on his crutches, his leg held out in front of him, and to Cas, who for all his faults had nearly killed himself to help again.
This was Deans family.
He looks at the closed door of your hospital room.
When this was all over, he was gonna marry you.
Fuck the consequences, and all the hell, he was going to marry you and make you an official Winchester, make Cail have his real last name.
He would make this right.
He wants to grow old with you, watch Cail grow up to be a young man, go to college and Meet a normal girl… Have kids of his own and visit on holidays.
Grandkids.
Great grandkids.
Even greater grandkids…
Well, maybe not that many.
Dean frowns.
He wasn’t sure you’d want to marry him, though.
You couldnt trust him to stay around, to not die on you… To leave you alone with Cail and make him sad…
Dean would be a better father then his own, though.
He swore he would.
He would take care of his own.
Everyone’s eyes go to the door as it slowly opens, revealing the stunned face of the doctor.
“It’s… A miracle,” he says after a moment, the light glinting off his glasses as he looks around. “It looks like she’s made a full recovery.”
"Mommy!“ Cail gasps, his eyes lighting up. He squirms until Dean sets him down, and then darts around the doctors legs and into your room. "Mommy!”
“Cail…”
Deans heart skips a beat.
You were awake.
He doesn’t think as he strides forward, practically shoving the doctor out of the way so he can see you.
You were halfway sitting up on the bed, your chest moving rapidly as you held Cail to you where he’d thrown himself across your torso. You were pale, your hair limp around your face, and your voice had been very raspy from the tubing running down your throat and making it sore.
But you were alive.
Conscious.
Not in pain.
“(Y/N),” Dean whispers, and your eyes flick over to him.
You give a weak smile.
He steps over to you, his hand reaching forward to brush your hair out of your face, the strand damp and limp.
You look terrible.
And yet he’d never thought you were more perfect.
“I love you,” he says thoughtlessly, and he cups your face, staring into your eyes. He doesn’t think as he leans forward, kissing your lips. “I — don’t you leave me like that again, don’t you scare me like that, don’t —.”
“Dean.”
Dean glances over his shoulder, seeing Sam hobble into the room. “They want to do some tests, make sure everything is okay.”
Which meant they need to leave.
Otherwise, someone was going to have to explain how you made a full recovery all of a sudden with no repercussions.
Right.
“Alright.” Dean frowns.
He turns back to you, caressing your face.
Everything would be okay now.
Everything.
~~~~~~~
“Where are we?” Cail asks, popping up between the front seats of the impala excitedly. Sam chuckles as he glances hack at his nephew, who looked way more excited to be leaving his home town then he should.
“To our place. You and your mama are moving in with us for a bit, remember?”
“Yeah.” Cail glances over his shoulder.
You were driving behind them, a trailer attached to the back of your car; you’d packed everything you could manage into it. You’d meant to bring only the sentimental items, but it turned out you were attached to most everything in your house.
After all, you’d bought and paid for everything.
It was yours.
And you were damn well taking it with you no matter what Dean or Sam said.
They’d gotten you safely from the hospital, went straight to your house — which apparently had been mildly damaged from the burning of your neighbors home.
So, you would’ve had to move anyway.
That’s what you told yourself so you wouldn’t cry anyway.
You were leaving everything you’d built for yourself.
Tara would take over at the coroner’s office, you’d at least cleared that up. She’d assured you shed just spread the rumor your ex husband showed up, you’d made amends, and you were running off with him.
Didn’t sound much like you to anyone who knew you, but maybe no one would think too heavily on it.
You were going to miss Tara.
She’d really been one of your closest friends.
Maybe you’d see her again one day.
You sigh as you drive your car, following the impala ahead of you. You have no idea where you’re going, just some “bunker” as Sam had called it, which didn’t assure you it would be comfortable. He’d said there was plenty of room, but still.
A bunker?
Really?
That was no place to raise a child.
You’d have to leave eventually.
Besides, he would have to go to school.
And you’d need a job.
How were they eating?
Probably canned goods.
That wouldn’t work for Cail.
You sigh again as you lean back in your seat, rolling your shoulders.
You’d told Dean you didn’t remember anything from being in your coma, but you’d lied.
You remembered everything.
Seeing him.
Listening to him convince you it was okay to go.
And then, when you’d been ready, stepping close to that whiteness that should have hurt your eyes but didn’t…
Something had happened.
You could have kept going, despite you knew your body was healing.
You could have went and been peaceful.
But…
That man…
He’d told you his name, but you couldn’t seem to grasp what it had been. You’d never got a very good look at him, just that he’d seemed kind of short, kind of stubbled with messy hair. He’d been standing there, in the light.
He’s told you not to go.
That you could, it was your decision, but he thought Cail would fair better if you stayed.
That Dean would fair better.
And so you had.
It had really been that simple to convince you.
You hadnt even argued.
Maybe you hadnt been as ready to go as you thought.
Oh well.
It doesn’t matter anymore.
But you were tired.
You’d been sleeping the past two days, passing out as soon as your head had hit the pillows of the motels you’d stopped at. You’d always woke with Cail snuggled into your side, not Dean, who you had yet to see sleep.
He was always on guard.
He had a family to protect, after all.
You roll your shoulders.
You were going to miss the life you’d built for yourself.
But you weren’t safe there anymore.
Cail wasn’t safe.
You don’t know what happened to the sheriff, or his sons, you hadnt bothered to check.
He’d taken your son from you.
And for that you’d never forgive him.
You hope he rots.
Your fingers tighten around the steering wheel.
You still see flashes of the light.
You hadnt mentioned it, you’re hoping it goes away, but you can always see it out of your peripheral.
That white light, edging in on you.
If you look at it directly, it disappears.
And you don’t know what it means.
Maybe your time was limited.
Or maybe the guy from the light was watching you.
Checking on you.
Creep.
Whoever he was.
If he was even real.
Maybe it was a figment of your imagination?
Something you’d made up just to convince yourself to stay?
You weren’t sure.
But something was up.
You suddenly jerk, startled, and your head twists in alarm to your window.
Dean is frowning at you, pecking on the glass.
You hesitate before rolling it down, shuddering.
You had a chill.
And your heart was suddenly thundering, like you’d been running.
“You okay?” Dean asks, staring at you. “Whyd you stop?”
“Why…?” you frown at him, glancing forward to see the impala a good bit in front of you.
You hadnt realized you’d stopped.
You’d just been thinking.
When had you slowed down?
Where even were you?
It looks like a country road, trees on either side.
Where were you going again?
“(Y/N)?”
You blink, turning to look at Dean again, confused.
“I…”
Dean frowns even more.
“Why don’t you let me drive for a bit, eh? You’re tired,” he says, pushing away from the window. You hesitate, and then nod.
He’s right.
You’re tired.
You wouldn’t mind a nap.
You reach for the keys to turn off the car, and frown, realizing they’re already in your hand?
When had you grabbed them?
You’re so confused.
Dean gently lifts them from your hand, closing his hand tightly around them.
“Switch seats, I’ll be right back.” he says as he moves back to the impala.
“What is it?” Sam asks as soon as he sees Dean, frowning.
“(Y/N) is tired, I was going to drive the car. Can you drive Baby?”
Sam looks down at his broken leg.
Well.
“I can try,”  he says after a moment, nodding.
“Is Mommy good?” Cail asks, squirming until he was between the seats again; he wouldn’t stay buckled or sitting down, and Dean didn’t have the heart to tell him to sit down firmly… He didn’t want Cail mad or upset with him or anything.
Which be knew he was going to have to work on.
He sighs. “Your mama’s fine, just tired. You stay up here with Sam, alright? And — stay buckled up, Cail.”
“Alrighty,” Cail says, almost as if he didn’t hear Dean at all.
Right.
Firm tone.
Dean would have to work on that.
He grimaces as he starts back to your car, seeing you’d already moved to the passenger seat, and you were frowning.
“What is it?” Dean asks as he slips inside.
“I — nothing. I’m just so tired,” you sigh, rubbing your face. “How’s Cail and Sam?”
“Good. Sams gonna drive Baby,” Dean responds, turning on the car. “Cails still so excited.”
“I figured.” You yawn. “Is he behaving?”
“Yeah.”
“Dean,” you frown at him.
See, that was the tone he needed to learn.
You really had the mother tone down, it even made him squirm.
“He’s Just excited to be going somewhere new,” he says evasively, shrugging. “He really likes the impala.”
“I’m not surprised, he’s your son,” you mumble thoughtlessly, snuggling down into your seat, stifling another yawn behind your hand. “He’s always liked cars.”
“And cowboys.”
You chuckle. “And cowboys.”
Dean smiles.
His son.
He glances at you as you shuffle around, letting your head rest against your hand.
You just want to sleep for a little while.
You feel so tired.
So you’ll rest while he drives the rest of the way.
And Dream.
Dream about the man in the light that you had left behind.