Full Hearted and Heartbroken

Chapter Twenty

20

That was my last day in Lloyd’s house.  That was the last time I was going to deal with Lloyd’s mind and his way of life.  That night, after Lloyd was asleep, I slipped on my outside gown, my flat shoes that made almost no noise at all, and I walked down the hallway to Luke’s room.  I wrapped my son in his blanket and then tide the blanket around my neck so I didn’t have to carry him with my arms.

I am now running down the street, past the street lights and the night guards.  The men on the street try to stop me, but I just keep running.  I run to the taxi house, where I hope Lucas will be.  When I get to the buildings door I can’t get in.  I check the back door but it is also locked.  I start yelling Lucas’ name, and when no one answers I fall to the ground in tears. 

“What am I going to do?” I cry, and thankfully Luke is asleep.  “Lloyd is probably hunting me down like I am a dog, and I am sitting on the muddy ground with a tiny baby, a lover who won’t answer me, and a family that doesn’t care about me.”

“At least someone cares about you,” I hear a ringing voice and I turn my head to see who the voice belongs to.  The person smiles down at me and then helps me to my feet.  I lean against him and let him wrap his arms around me and Luke.

“I’ve missed you,” I cry into his neck.

He rubs my back and comforts me as though we were never apart.  “I missed you too.”

We cry together.  Lucas takes Luke from around my neck and cuddles him to his chest.  It feels like we are reunited once more and that we are finally complete.  Now all I have to do is tell him about what I did and what is going to happen to us.  But he first takes me to his taxi room where Luke, Lucas, and I will sleep for the night.

His room contains of one bed without any covers or pillows, gray walls, a sink, a desk, and a single chair.  I wrap Luke back up in his blanket and place him next to me on the bed.  Lucas spoons me against his body, one arm across my chest and one around my waist.  Luke falls asleep, but my thoughts keep me from the cover of sleep and dreams.  Lucas must have noticed, for he asks me through half closed eyes.

“What is it my love?”

I take a deep breath before I answer.  How am I going to explain this to him without him freaking out?  How am I going to tell him how Lloyd forced me to sleep with him and how he threatened to kill all of us?  Well, at least I know that Lucas will listen to anything I say and never stop me.  At least I know he is there for me even when I cannot see him.   

I slip off of his chest and lay next to him.  Everything about him is the same as I remember.  His eyes are soft with emotion.  His cheeks have the same rose color to them from when we first met.  His blond, curly hair falls in flows around his head and ears.  His skin is soft and strong against mine.

When I look into his eyes I can see the fear that he has always been afraid of.  The fear of me being torn from him forever and never being able to come back to him.  The same fear I have carried with me when I first married Lloyd.  But now we don’t have to worry about that fear because we are now together again.

“I don’t even know where to start,” I cry,

“Well, what has he done to make you so upset?” he asks, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.

“Everything,” I lay my head on his chest and start crying again.  “Look at me.  Now don’t I look like a huge cry baby, not knowing what to do and crying about everything that comes to mind.”

“I see you, and you are a lot prettier than you think,” Lucas states.

I look at Lucas through my wet eyes.  How is he ever going to understand?  My hands shake as I hold Lucas’ face in them.  I kiss him and then lay my head down next to his so I can look into his eyes.