Our Time Is None (Phan AU)

Prologue- Phil's POV

I remember the first time I noticed it.

The clock on my arm, well, in my arm would be more accurate. I suppose I had noticed it before, of course. But when I was three, I really noticed it, was curious about it. Oddly shaped, with a round shape on it. My toddler self had thought it weird, scratching at it, hitting it. I finally went to my mum, pointed at it, and asked, "What's it?" Which is how I said, "What's this?" or, "What's that?" at the time.

"It's a clock, Philly."

"What's it clock?"

My mum laughed a little. "A clock. Everyone has one, it's okay."

"Why?"

My mom picked me up. "Because. I'll tell you when you're older. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Okay." When I was that young, I took my mum's words as law, and so I didn't worry.

A year and a half later, just before I started kindergarten, I asked my mum again while she was watching me play. "Mummy?"

"Yes, Phil?"

"What's the clock for?"

My mum smiled, and sat down on the living room floor where I was playing. "It helps you find your soulmate."

"Soulmate?"

"Yeah, like, the person you'll marry someday."

I thought for a second. "So, is Daddy your soulmate?"

"That's right, Philly."

"But how does it help?"

"Well, it's like a countdown. It counts down to when you'll meet your soulmate."

"But mine doesn't countdown." I said, pointing to my watch. "It's a 0."

Mum gave me a hug. "Well, that's okay. Some people have 0's. Don't worry about it."

I looked over at Mum's clock, which had a 0. That night when Dad came home from work, I peeked over at his clock, which also had a 0.

A few days later when my grandparents came to visit, I sneaked a look at their clocks, also having 0's on them. Since we had just moved to be closer to family, I didn't get the chance to look at the clocks of other kids. All I had were those of my family: grandparents, my two uncles, my parents. So I assumed that having a 0 was normal, that everyone had a 0 on their clocks.

That is, until I started school that Fall.

I was walked into my classroom by my parents, given a hug, and was told to have a good day. My teacher showed me to a cubby to put my backpack in, and told me to go draw with the other kids until class started. I smiled and walked over, ready to make new friends. That's when I noticed something odd.

These other kids, they had numbers on their clocks. The numbers changing at different rates. I stared at the arm of the girl coloring next to me, before remembering that it's not nice to stare, and I continued coloring.

Soon enough, class started, and I loved it from the beginning. But that didn't last long.

At recess, a girl named Elise came up to me and pointed at my clock. "Why is there only a 0?"

I shrugged.

"That's weird. I think there's something wrong with you. Hey, Kaylie!" She yelled to her friend.

That's when almost the entire class joined in laughing at me. Because I was different, I was weird. Except for one boy, tiny and quiet, who sat on a swing on the playground, watching with his big brown eyes.

I kept my chin up, though. I wouldn't let them get to me.

But I also didn't want to be a tattle-tale, so I took the laughter and the comments in silence for months. Until one day in class my teacher told us about our clocks, explaining to us what my mum had already told me, with just a little more detail.

"Everyone has a countdown, counting down to when you meet your soulmate. And you see that shape on your clocks?" Everyone looked down at their clocks. "Everyone's is different, and when you meet your soulmate, your clocks will fit together, just like a puzzle."

Elise raised her hand. "What if someone's clock is at 0?" She asked, looking at me.

"Well, it either means that they've already met their soulmate. Or, it means that their soulmate has died."

The room went silent, and everyone turned to look at me. I think in that moment, everyone felt bad for me. Then our teacher told us it was snack time, and everyone excitedly ate their snacks, comparing their clocks, trying to fit them together.

Except for one.

The same boy who had watched me from the swings that first day, who sat in front of me. I looked over his shoulder, to see the name tag on his desk, which read, "Dan." I took a glimpse of his clock.

It also had a 0.

When Mum picked me up from school that day, I got into the backseat and stared out the window, not talking about my day like usual.

"Philly? Are you okay?"

"My soulmate's dead." I said, matter-of-factly.

"I- what?"

"My soulmate's dead." I repeated.

"Who told you that?"

"My teacher said so."

There was nothing my mum could do, she couldn't deny it, so we rode home, and I went to my room. Later that night I heard my mum talking to my dad.

"He's only five! He doesn't need to know that his soulmate's dead, he's too young to know! And we were supposed to tell him when he's older. I can't believe she told him! She said it was an accident, another student had asked, she didn't know that he was a 0. But it crushed him! You should've seen him today, he was so sad, not like our normal, happy Phil."

I didn't listen after that. And we didn't talk about it again.

When I was 12, I started getting curious again. One girl in my year had met her soulmate that day, so when I got home I asked my mum if we could talk.

"Sure, what's do you need?"

"I have soulmate questions, Mum."

My mum swallowed, looking nervous, as if she had been waiting for this. "What do you want to know, Phil?"

"So, I'm a zero."

"Don't use that term, Phil. It's not nice."

"But it's what I am. Anyways. So, I'm a zero, which means I'll never have a soulmate, but does that mean I can never date anyone? Or get married?"

"Well, you can. You know your uncles, they're, well, soulmate-less."

I thought for a second. "They're zeroes? I didn't know that."

Mum smiled. "They are. See, you're not alone. But if you are soulmate-less,"

"A zero, Mum."

"A zero, you can still get married. A lot of zeroes will date other zeroes, get married. But, you just have to be careful about it. Because you haven't been paired by fate, more difficulties in the relationship will arise than if you were paired as soulmates."

I smiled at this, knowing that there was hope for me, one day maybe.

But my thoughts wondered to Dan, the kid in my kindergarten class, and I wondered if he knew.