This Is Not Poetry, My Soul Has Sprung a Leak

I'm Not Afraid - I'm So Afraid

How can you stop yourself from falling when you've already been pushed

My mind kept me at my feet but my heart gave me da shove

So I'm reaching out to stop myself, grabbing at whatever I can

But when I open my fist, I can see your face

I see us...together

I see the way you are with my son

I see us holding hands

I see the time you put in getting to know me, the patience

I see your smile, I scream

I crawl in the corner and grab my legs

I'm Not Afraid, I'm So Afraid

My heart is like a loose tooth, about to be gone completely

Only holding on by a piece of string

you told me that no one can break your heart no worst than the first time its been shattered

That one blow was so extreme

I feel paralyzed to the..."L" word...saying it

From your appearance, one wouldn't think you are as you truely are with me

your street affilitation, dude all tatted up

But all one has to is look into your affectionate eyes and see how humbe you are

and dats hard too now, as the days pass

The eyes are the doorway to your soul

and your soul is open and clear and mine  is like...a bob-wire fence

so it won't be touched and tented like windows,so you can't see past

I realize I fell a few weeks before now

we took time out, real time, to actually get to know each other

There wasn't any intimacy, we hung out with each other, innocently

Then you revealed your feeings

I didn't believe you at first

But as you spoke, you got jumbled and barely got the words out

You shown me in many ways

But you never spoke it until then

Waking up next to you just about every morning for just about two weeks straight

Have me full of fear

Because it feels so good...so right...so...so...so...perfect

I don't know what to do

When or even if I fall, woud you catch me

Would you fall with me...well...seems like you already leaped

Would you hold me up long enough for where I stop wobbling and hold myself up steady

Or would you realize I wasn't worth the catch you made

Woudl you walk out on me when I need you most

I'd have to fall to find out I guess

I'd have to fall to find out if there's a net to catch me or solid ground to splat on

I'm on da edge, very wobbly, walking to da cliff

I'll just walk backwards so I don't knw when my fall is actually there

But I still anticipate the fall...not knowing how many feet down it is

...not knowing if I may just kill myself by doing it

Or it'll just be like standing by my bed and falling back..still...

I anticipate it...so...instead of taking more steps back...

I stop

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