Colors ► Jason Grace

UPDATE

It is I!
Hello everyone!
How many years has it been? About 3?
I wonder if any of you are going to actually read this, since I figure most of your accounts are inactive or you have just given up on this book (and my account) entirely. But I am here to say that I am not dead and I am very much alive!
But I do come bearing bad news.

But for my Wattpad Veterans, can we first discuss how much Wattpad has changed? Like what is this ad nonsense?? PREMIUM Wattpad? Excuse me? And that icon change?? It's horrible. The creators of this app really are sell outs. They make a few (crappy) books into movies and think they're the shit. To quote a tweet I saw (yes I am on twitter, more on that later) "Harry did NOT stare into Y/N's orbs for this", and it's true. We didn't stay up until the crack of dawn writing embarrassing stories for Wattpad to throw this shit at us. But of course I have been inactive for over two years, so I'm not sure if I am just having a rude awakening or if this change is recent? Have you all migrated to another reading app?

Regardless, it really warms my heart to see that some of you haven't lost hope and still message me <3 It really has me shocked to see the impact this literal mess of a book has had on you guys.

Which is why I believe I owe you all an explanation.
When I first started this "book", I was a mere 7th grader living in New York, 12 years old. A 12 YEAR OLD GUYS. As I wrote this book, my entire life changed when my family relocated to Texas. That was when my first real hiatus began because during the months of July, August and all the way to October 2016 I went through the actual worst time of my life. I won't get too into detail, but my mom and I struggled with depression and my mom kind of took it out on me. I don't blame her as much as I used to, but I did blame her because at the time she had take away my phone, for no apparent reason, and completely cut me off from the outside world. I lost touch with all my friends, and access to the internet. The only thing keeping me sane was writing in notebooks I would buy from Walmart. I sheltered myself in Netflix and books, but I longed to talk to somebody for the longest time.
Then I finally got my phone back in October, wrote some more books, was more active on here. The last time I vividly remember writing in here was 8th grade.
As every child does, I went through a rebellious phase. "It's not a phase mom!" Literally never thought I'd utter those words but alas here I am to say that I did, in fact say those words, and not just said but YELLED and SCREAMED and slammed doors. So during 8th oh around most of freshmen year, there was not a month my phone was taken from me. I think my personal record was about a year and a half without a phone. I'm not going to sugarcoat anything, I was a dumbass. Still kind of am but not in the sense where my risks outweigh the rewards. So yeah, I didn't have much time to write because I was too caught up in well, being a freshmen. I was just entering the world of boys and high school and friends and forming a social life. I will admit, I logged in every once in a while to check on this account to see if it had not been deactivated, and whenever I read my work I visibly cringed and made fun of it to my friends.
But recently, as most of you are all experiencing as well, the coronavirus pandemic has forced us to all be on lockdown. I still reside in Texas, in a very small town, which has just now started to become infected. I visited New York a few weeks ago after FOUR YEARS and man is it bad over there. (Don't worry, I quarantined and social distanced for 2 weeks after we came home) I still AM social distancing. But yes, even though my INSUFFERABLE townspeople refuse to stay inside I am being a good noodle and social distancing. So I got to talking with my boyfriend, yes, he is real, about my fanfiction days. He is not a douche so, we laughed about it, he reassured me it was nothing to be TOO embarrassed about, I even sent him some of it. But it made me think, wow, I really had a whole life on this app.
So I just wanted to say thank you, to all of you, who made those dark 6th grade days when I felt like I would never grow up and have a real life love, that I would never have friends, easier and tolerable. I will always think of this platform with nostalgia and yes, slight embarrassment, but with tenderness regardless. But I don't judge you if you still write fanfiction because everyone has their own hobbies and sometimes fictional characters are better than actual people or anyone we could think of ourselves. Thank you to all of those who gave me encouragement and kindness and who I could even call my friends. I know most of you will be grown by now and probably inactive, but for those of you who are still here this is for you. And thank you if you read this book and genuinely enjoyed it, with all of its errors and cringiness that 12-13 year old me wrote.
I am now 16 and a junior in high school, and my whole life is still ahead of me. But I think of this place as a part of my childhood. I know most of you will be shocked (but now that I read the quality of this and many other books of mine again I doubt you will find it that shocking) that I was only a middle schooler when I wrote this, but I have always been a romantic and a bit rebellious. I also didn't have any friends LOL. Not much has changed. Percy Jackson will always have a place in my heart, as well as One Direction, my main fandoms. I am thankful to say that I HAVE grown out of some fandoms, like Shawn Mendes, Magcon, The Flash and some other youtubers/viners. (hahaha who remembers when tiktok was musical.ly?) so I will for sure not miss that. But PJO and 1D really were my entire life at one point. I reread all of the series during quarantine, and I can say I see why it's preteen oriented, but nonetheless, it will still hold a peace of my heart.
But I unfortunately do not have the same dedication and passion for it like I used to. I don't find the need to live in a fantasy world, because although this pandemic has put my life on halt, I find my life pretty good. And even if it's not, I just seem to have outgrown this phase of me.
I am still a writer at heart, if you can't tell by my pretentious language, but just not a FanFiction write anymore.
I have notebooks filled with chapters of this story I never got to write on here, and I am sad that you guys won't be able to see it. But I just do not wish to relive this part of my past by writing stories to people who don't exist. It was fun, I admit, but I have someone I love who is REAL now and I don't want to disrespect him by fantasizing about some dude who Rick Riordan made. That's just my opinion. Also, I just wouldn't do this book justice if I didn't write willingly, I wouldn't give it my best. But I don't judge you or think you're weird if you still write fanfiction or whatever, I promise, but I just don't feel comfortable anymore. I promise I don't think I'm better than any of you. And I'll always be appreciative to my readers (not "fans" as I see some authors call them -_-) and it's you guys who even made this book somewhat "known".
I'm sorry I have to end this, But i'm sure there are much more deserving authors out there who would like your votes and attentive reading.
I will keep this book up. I will keep writing. But I am sadly no longer a fangirl.
Thank you all so much, and if we lost touch please reach out to me through these:
And no this isn't just some shameless self promotion. I don't even feel 100% safe giving out this info but I feel terrible just leaving some of you hanging when you've been nothing but attentive to my page and have been filling up my inboxes/message board wondering where I am. I also apologize to that, I was even younger and immature and thought that there wasn't real people behind these screens. I know now that it takes a good person to not forget about you and actually care about you.

INSTAGRAM:
@ emilyordon3z
SNAPCHAT:
emilyordonez21
TWITTER:
@ emilyordon3z

PLEASE DO NOT HARASS ME ON ANY OF THESE. I will BLOCK YOU. I am open to private messages, but I won't accept any rude/nasty messages.

    I might just use this account to write my own stories, not tied to any particular fandom. What do you guys think?

In conclusion, I hope that you are all well and that you are all staying safe.
Thank you for all the love.
- Emily Nicole <3