Jalph One-Shots

#3. Like An Old Married Couple

||Summary: Jack and Ralph are a couple and they're arguing. Again. Roger refers to them as an old married couple.

Funny arguing.
Basically, the others are like their children.||

~

Jack and Ralph argued. A lot. Everyone knew this by now. And now that they were a couple, the arguments just seemed to get more and more ridiculous. First it started off with them just going off on each other about the fire and shelters and hunting. But now they argued about almost anything. Roger even started to refer to them as "the old married couple".
The argument of the day started off with innocent little Percival. Ralph had decided to let Jack hunt for once if he could come with. Jack gladly accepted this. But two boys wouldn't be enough. What if that supposed Beast was around? So they decided to take two more boys.
"All right, we need two more boys!" Ralph announced. Roger shot up his hand instantly. "All right, Roger. One more!" Hands flew up straight away as Roger stood up and moved by Ralph and Jack. The fair boy's eyes scanned the crowd. "Hmm...How about Ha--"
"Percival!" The redhead cut him off, staring at the shy little boy. Percival hadn't even moved until Jack called his name, his head moving up slightly.
Ralph looked at his boyfriend, annoyed. "Um, Jack, I was going to choose someone."
"Oh well. Sucks for you."
The chief frowned. "I'm chief. Besides, Percival didn't even have his hand raised!"
"He's shy! What do you expect? And bullocks to your chief crap." Jack rolled his eyes.
Ralph narrowed his eyes at Jack. "I'm chief. You follow my rules. I make the final decisions." He then turned towards the crowd again. "Now! I say we pick Harold!"
"Oh shut up, Ralph. You sound like a damn bloody teacher." Scoffed Jack.
Ralph huffed and glared at Jack. "We need rules."
"Rules? Yes. But we don't need a bloody twelve year old bossing us around." Jack rolled his eyes.
"I'm not trying to boss you all around! I'm trying to be smart!"
"Well would you at least ask Percival if he would like to join?"
Ralph sighed. "Fine." He walked over to Percival and knelt in front of him. "Do you want to come with?"
"Um..." Percival tried to speak before shaking his head "no".
Jack then approached them. "How come?"
Ralph glared at Jack. "Does it matter?"
"Yes it matters!"
Percival looked up at them both, his expression showing a clear sign of being nervous. Like a child seeing their parents fight. Ralph took a quick look at Percival and noticed this. "Oh, look! Now you've scared him!"
"I did not scare him!"
"You scare everyone, Jack!"
"I do not!"
"Yes, you do!"
"Well you annoy everyone with your goddamn bossy-ness."
"Bossy-ness? Nice English."
"Oh, like your English is any better! "Ass-Mar", who the hell pronounces it like that?! It's asthma!"
"Well excuse me! At least I'm not a selfish ginger that brags about singing C-Sharp!"
"At least I'm not a little immature bugger that makes farting noises with the conch!"
"Oh yeah?" The boys looked at the couple in amusement, especially Roger. "Well I'm Jack Merridew! All I care about is pig, pig, pig! Going home? Not for me! I'd rather be a savage ginger wearing nothing but my thong!" Mocked Ralph.
Jack mocked him right back. "Well I'm Ralph! All I care about is a stupid little Fatty and bossing people around!"
"God, you're ridiculous!" Shouted Ralph, standing up. He stomped off, huffing loudly.
"Says the one who started the mockery!" Jack shouted back before standing up. He began to stomp after Ralph. "Hey, I'm not done with you!"
More shouts could be heard and as soon as they started to fade away into the distance, Roger smirked and muttered, "Just like an old married couple..."
The boys nodded in agreement.