Broken Blood

I'm The One That Jaded You

Blood red splatters on the doorframe beside his head and it would be a full five minutes before I would realize my paintbrush had dropped. I stare up at them, apparitions of the absolute impossible, as my arm twists back to reach for the bottle of pills sitting on the kitchen counter. I knew the day would come when my insanity would reach well past the point of medical help, and it seemed that day was now.

Sam (or my warped mind’s concept of what Sam might look like after all this time) swoops down and grabs me, a scream catches in my throat and he scoops me up before I can breath. I am engulfed in him, and before I can push away I am drowning in memories flushing in from beyond the grave, I expect to smell death and dirt on his chest but don’t. I expect to be able to see and breath when he finally pulls away, but all that I see is a blur as I quickly plummet into unconsciousness. I had expected Sam and Dean to both be dead, but there they were.

*3rd Person POV*

Sam caught Quinn in his arms before she could hit the ground, he stared down at her, surprised to find that she was unconscious. *I didn’t squeeze that hard did I ?* he asks himself, as Dean slips beside him, “real smooth death grip” he sneers, Sam throws him an annoyed glare before picking up Quinn entirely.

The two walk through the quiet apartment, routinely examining the living room, finding nothing but white walls, black leather furniture, and an area rug. They then manage to find her bedroom, painted purple, her walls are decorated with paintings of flowers and mushy sunsets. Sam carefully lays her on the bed, made as if it had never been slept in and stands. The two stare down at their baby sister, and wonder how they could have ever forgotten about her.

Flashback

The car is parked outside of Sunny park Children’s Psychiatrist Hospital, John Winchester sits in the front seat, looking back and forth between the passenger seat and the rearview mirror to make sure both of his sons hear and understand him. “No Demon talk! No Ghosts, no salt circles, holy water, none a that got it?” he asks sternly, the two boys, Sam in the back is thirteen and Dean is seventeen “yes sir” they answer in unison. Except for this lecture portion, seeing Quinn was their favorite thing to do.

She runs into his arms before he can get two feet in the door of her room, but John happily accepts his little girl, she’s eight years old and swinging her up into his arms she smiles brightly and signs ‘I missed you!’. John laughs, happy that she chose one of the only signs he actually knew “I missed you too baby”, Quinn is overjoyed. Her long black hair is messy because she’d chosen to color rather than brush it this morning, she wears a pink nightgown and purple pajama pants, her favorite color was purple.

Quinn spots Sam and Dean still standing near the door and reaches for them, a fresh wave of excitement crushing her. John lets Quinn slip out of his arms and she runs for her brothers, one of them catches her, she doesn’t care which, and she nuzzles into him. Pulling back she sees it’s Dean smiling back at her, she mashes her hands in his hair because she knows he hates the feeling and he crinkles up his face in response, “heey” he says playfully, Quinn smile widens. Seeing Sam she runs to him, first signing ‘what did you bring me?’ but realizing he doesn’t understand takes to trying to look behind his back, pushing aside his head and pulling open his jacket. He gets the point and laughs “oooh, would you be looking for this?” He pulls a stuffed rabbit from behind him, and watches Quinn’s shinning eyes as they land on it. When she saw her family it was as if she had never been given a gift in her life.

She grabs Sam and Dean’s hand and pulls them towards the bed, when she knows they’re coming she lets them go and pushes her dad towards the bed as well, them runs ahead and climbs in and spreads out pictures she’d been coloring. She then reaches into the drawer next to the bed and pulls out more artwork, they’re all of her family. They ask who is who and she points them out. There are smiles and hearts all over the colorful pages, but she pushes aside a picture and one dark page is uncovered. Immediately her smile drops as her eyes land on her own depiction of scolding yellow eyes surrounded by swirling black.

Flashback End

The memories reach Dean and Sam and those times are so drastically different than things are now that they can hardly believe they ever existed. And as they watch as Quinn begins to stir and wake, they wonder if such a happy moment could ever be enjoyed again.

*Quinn’s POV*

It’s the most peaceful nothingness I’ve ever existed in, and I wonder why it is that I have to leave it…why can’t I stay where nothing can hurt me, make me sad, nothing can go away and die and leave me. But I feel that it’s slipping back now, somehow I realize that I’m awakening and almost cry out in protest, but my cognition about wanting to stay only quickened my consciousness. I couldn’t fight it.

I open my eyes to find them looming above me, their faces cast in shadow and jump up, pushing myself against the wall, I’m on the bed. They shush me “It’s okay, just calm down” Sam says, “take it easy” Dean adds, I stare at them, wide-eyed and out of words. Sam reaches out to take my hand but I jerk my arm away and it stays near my side, sliding down to rest on the bed as I speak with eyes averted downward. “You guys can’t be here…y-you died” I stammered quietly, darting my eyes up for only a moment before looking down again, I scoot away. “We didn’t DIE" Dean tries to assure me "we were never dead Quinn” I continue to scoot away.

The fear in my chest pushes my heart faster and faster, tears swell in my eyes and my voice shakes as I speak “just go away okay, you can’t be here”. I squeeze my eyes shut, and after a moment of silence hear Dean’s voice…softly singing, “Quinn, has no more nightmares…she’s laughing and happy again…” my eyes slowly open, on old made up lullaby Dean used to sing to me before bed. Sam and dad would be in the hall talking to the doctor and Dean would be kneeling beside my bed, I would tug on his shirt and make puppy eyes until he gave in and sang. I look at him, he raises his eyebrows “okay?” he asks quietly, the moment is totally silent, my vision is blurred with tears, and I fly to him just as they begin to fall.

 He catches me and I bury my face in his neck, and inside me an immeasurable joy explodes as I realize that a ghost or hallucination can’t hold you, can’t pat the back of your head and shush away tears that you didn’t know you were shedding.