Broken Blood

Six Arms To Hold Me

They want to cradle me, scoop me up and hold me, the way they used to when I had a nightmare as a kid. But, I’m older now, too much time has passed between the time that they last cared for me, and now. The time we exist in now is much different; I have medicine to soothe me. They sit at the dining room table with their eyes glued to me as I reach into the cabinet above the stove and retrieve my medicine bowl. I can tell in their eyes that they feel a deep, frustrating concern, exacerbated by my refusal to tell them what my nightmare had been about. I know my brothers only wanted to help…but I wasn’t finished being bitter.

So I let them worry as I sift and sort through the bottles, I have to be careful not to pick a medicine that would react badly with something else I’ve taken. *Okay* I think, scanning the labels for ‘do not take with’ warnings *well I know I shouldn’t take the Risperdal because of the Ambien…but how long has it been since I took the Ambien? Well I’m feeling awake now, which means THAT should at least have warn off…is it too soon to take the Valium again? Well, was that actually a night terror or does it just fall into the category of a nightmare?…I mean I guess it really depends on what kind of-* “You TAKE all that?!” Dean’s voice stops my thought and I look over at him. He stares at the bowl of pills in intense disbelief, then at me, I nod, now they look even more disturbed. I laugh inside.

*Sam’s POV*

Quinn speaks and I don’t know what to think of her. She’s so dramatically different from the way she used to be, it was as if something had already gotten a hold of her. When we first arrived, we have worried that we were too late to save her, she skipped words, she fidgeted and couldn’t quite sit still. “YES I take them all, you want me to just be a psycho? BE a psycho?” she repeats statements, Dean stares back at her with worry, it’s moments like this one that make us worry that yellow eyes has already gotten to her. I think back to the night when Jake opened the door, seeing Dad that night was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me, it lead us back to our baby sister. I remember that night clearly, every detail is highlighted, especially what Dad told me when he looked into my eyes.

I am frozen, Dad stares into my eyes and suddenly I hear his voice. “Sammy, don’t forget your baby sister, he’s made her like you now. If she knows that, she’ll let you help her” I’m confused and can hardly focus on what he said, almost as soon as he said it the words slip from my head, the fact that he’s there raises too many questions for there to be room for anything else in my head. A long moment passes and he fades, and with him his words totally escape me.

I stare at her now and wonder what he meant. “All that craps probably just makin you worse!” Dean’s voice is almost desperate in his frustration, sometimes I think his worry will kill him. Quinn laughs dryly, then suddenly her smile drops and she looks coldly back at Dean, she does that too, the transitions between one facial expression and the next are hardly there, one moment she smiles, the next she frowns without warning. Her expression is bitterness “actually, it’s helping me. Would you rather I be like I was as a kid? Believing in ghosts and demons? Ghosts” her words somehow remind me of the paintings. She’d been sitting in front of that door while we set up around the apartment, that had been the first room we checked right after she fell asleep. Flicking on the lights I remember the feeling that flowed over me, the paintings were fantastic, depictions of us as a family and we actually looked normal, happy. We stood around and stared at all the paintings for a long time * “ can’t believe we took this many pictures”* Dean had remarked with a chuckle as he looked around the room.

She’d always have that camera whenever we came to visit, she always took a million pictures of us together, it used to get so annoying but now I’m glad she did it. Now, if we couldn’t save her…we could always have them.

*Dean’s POV*

I hate the idea of telling her that all her nightmares were real, that a demon really was after her and still is, she deserves a normal life…but hell, all those damn loony pills make her about as normal as any other hunter on the planet anyway. It can’t be avoided, and I can’t sit here and watch her take all that crap, it’s time for some truth.