Death of Roses(book two)(lesbian stories)

Chapter 7

Despair! That was the current emotion which was surging through my entire being. I stared at this woman. The woman with whom I fell madly in love with. No feelings other than love ever castrated my heart when Sydney came to mind. "She's alive?" I kept repeating in my mind. She is here. The love of my life is here. How can that be? My face wet with tears yet a glimmer of hope twinkled between my irises. I wanted to pull her in. I wanted to hug her like never before.

"Sydney!" my voice hoarse and my tears never ceased.

She looked up at me with those grey eyes like thunderstorm clouds. She gave me a sad smile and shook her head. "I am so sorry but I remember none of you."

"How can you not remember Sydney? First of all you're supposed to be dead. Dead as in six feet under. How can you not remember me? You were pregnant with my child Sydney. How can you not remember me?" Tears! That was the only thing which dominated my face. Tears fell and my voice cracked while I shouted her name. "Sydney! Sydney!"

She stared at me with a sad expression, "I'm sorry but you have the wrong person. My son is Kelly's own"

"Mummy lets go please." I looked down at the bundle of joy which was grasping at Sydney's hand whom I completely ignored till now.

"James?"

"Yes!" His voice trembled while speaking and I could have tell that he wanted to cry. I stooped down to his level and gently held his hand. "Hey, it's okay. I'll never hurt you. No one will ever hurt you okay." He smiled and shook his head in agreement. I also cracked a small smile at my son. Yes my son. It's inevitable. Green eyes like a cold forest, slicked full ebony hair, a jawline to kill.

"Sydney why are you doing this? Why are you hell-bent on hurting me? Is this my son?" I questioned while staring directly at her.

"How can I continuously hurt you and I don't even know you? I was in a coma for three years and do you know who was there for me? Kelly! That's who. So do not question me on hurting you, when I have no idea who you are in the first place."

"A coma?"

"Scar I think she lost her memory and that bitch Kelly made her feel they were together."

"I'll kill her jinx. I'm going to dilapidate her body now." I said while walking away. A tug on my shoulder stopped my murderous reverie. "Relax uncle Scar." Matthew stated and I scowled.

I turned and stared blankly at Sydney. "I don't know if you're telling the truth but I know that I am. I lost my memory because of the impact of the bullet scraping my cranium but not passing through my skull. Which is how I am alive today. The way in which you reacted did show me that we had a lot of history together but I have a new life now. I am happily married to Kelly and we have James." She smiled sadly.

"James is my fucking son and I'll be damned if I let him go or you." The small scowl which stated etched on my face deepened when I looked down at James.

"I'm sorry scar!" she turned and grabbed James' hand proceeded to walk away.

"Sydney do not leave me again. Sydney! Sydney!" I shouted yet she kept her face straight.

"Sydney! Do not leave me again!" Though I was calling out to her, she was already gone. Again! How could I let her go? I should have forced her to stay with me. But no. I couldn't do that to her.

Apparently hours has passed because when I opened my eyes, I was laying on my bed with a bottle of bourbon and a thick joint placed between my lips. My room was trashed and I was missing a window glass. I can't remember what happened but I'm sure it was not good. I took a swig from my almost empty bottle of bourbon and tried standing. To no avail, I fell to the floor and tried getting up again. Realizing that it is not working, I sat on the floor.

Memories of Sydney and I just kept flooding through my mind and sucked me into this oblivion of pain. An eternity of sadness. An eternity of heartbreak. Her smile stayed etched in my brain. A smile which soothed me for days at end. Her grey eyes that electrocuted my senses. Eyes that I could paint on a thousand different canvas just to ensure that I never forget it.

How can she not remember me? How can she choose Kelly? I screamed out into the darkness of my room. The room that felt like a sink hole. How can I move on? How do I polarize from this exact moment? How can I be released from this hurtful manner? I am doubtful! I'm doubtful of my moving on from this pain. It pained to know that she was dead but it pains even more to know she is alive and I can't have her or my son. The son that is the splitting image of me. Me! How can she do this? This pain is never ending. I can't cope and I can't move on. I don't think I can even think about moving on.

"Scar!" a knock and a call made me raise my head. Jinx stood at the door with a sorrowful expression painted on her face.

"I can't talk right now!" I stated, well at least I thought it sounded like that. The confused face jinx displayed ensured me of that.

"Okay number one, it's been three days and you smell disgusting. So come on."

"Three days?"

"Yes three days. Go take a bath. We have work to do."

"What work?"

"We found a lead on the bullets and you will not guess who put it there."

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Yes you all can kill me. I had a serous case of writer's block and i still do but i am trying my hardest to atleast try. i know this is short but ill try my best to write another chapter before the end of the week. it will be in Sydney's pov. don not hate me to much. love yall <3