How to be a Proper Zombie

How to be a Proper Zombie

                Within this short ‘How to,’ one will learn the necessities to be a polite and thoughtful zombie.  This being said, topics and advice in this booklet include:

·         Being Neighborly: Asking before Biting

·         The Forbidden Fruit: Dealing with love for the living

·         Zombie Etiquette: You’ll never get the girl with blood on your chin!

·         Moaning: The times it’s appropriate and the times it isn’t

·         Eating Habits: Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t have a nice figure!

·         More, More, More: How to deal with your brain addiction

·         Insecurities: When losing limbs has driven you to feel embarrassed about yourself

·         The Films Are Wrong: How famous ‘Zombie Flicks’ have unjustly portrayed the Undead

If you’ve purchased this book, you’re either a member of the undead or you’re preparing for the inevitable after life.  Either way, this ‘How to’ is appropriate for all ages, dead or alive.  Note: if you’ve experienced eye gouging, have a friend read this book out loud.  If you’ve lost both your ears and eyes, a braille copy of this book is coming out shortly.