How to be a Proper Zombie

Love for the Living Continued... Through Song.

Love for the Living Continued... Through Song.

In this booklet, I feel as though I haven't focused on the romantic part of things enough.  Sure, I've delved into the world of how to get the girl in your life, but I haven't shown you how to swoon your lady and sweep her off her feet.

After reading this chapter and taking action in your love life, there are certain responses you can expect to recieve.  Some grotesque and others less so (I do warn those of you that are younger and/or less mature to skip this section and read, 'I miss my dog, I finally understand why the Littlest Angel felt the way he did' on page 425).

Here are the responses I've collected in my past as quite the romancer:

I'm sure you're all quite the dirty bunch, as all zombies are, so I'll start with those first.

- "I could just gnaw off your entire arm, that was so cute!"

- "Oh my Brain, I think I'm in love with you. Can I snack on your leg bone? The dog stole mine and I love the taste of mud."

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST:

- "My Goodness, you're quite the charmer aren't you? By the way, I like your eyes. Well, eye. The other one has a maggot in it."

Oh my, that was fun! Is that what you were expecting? No, it was not.

I do realize that those responses are from fellow zombies, but as I've stated previously, humans are a completely different specie and don't take part in gross ways of affection. Moving along now, I'll show you responses that human females have submitted to me in the past.

- "How do I love thee, let violin count the ways."

- "Oh, baby, you slay me."

- "My new type? Zombie hunks. All because of you."

Alright, once again, we're moving along. Especially after that last one.

Now, you're probably wondering how to gain these terms of ... affection.  Surprisingly or not, the best way is through music.

Music, you ask? Yes, music. Nothing is more romantic than the sound of people making sweet, sweet, music together (interpret that in any way you'd like).

I've pre-planned a playlist that will get you any girls heart.  Sure, it may not be infinite at this time, but if your name was/is Nick and you're in love with a girl named Nora -- I'm sure your love can make it play forever.

The playlist that'll win over anyone's heart:

- Fly Me To The Moon - Frank Sinatra

- Be My Little Baby - The Ronnettes

- Love is Strange - Mickey and Silvia's Cover

- True Love Ways - Buddy Holly

And MANY more.

I wish you luck in your indevors.  I have all the faith in the world that you'll be able to get the love of your life and sing your heart out, two things I enjoy.

NEXT CHAPTER : How to Deal With the Ugly: When You're Left Heartbroken (What can I say, I'm not a hopeless romantic!)