Obliterate ~ Bucky Barnes

Chapter Nine.

Dear Bucky,

This feels odd. I used The Google and it said to write a letter to your 'lost loved one'. That feels odd too, calling you that. You went from Steve's friend, to James, to Bucky, to a friend, to something more, to the someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with to... that. Even saying "Dear Bucky" is odd. I only wrote letters to you during the war and even then I expected a letter back. Now I know I'll get nothing.

Nobody knows what to say to me, I guess lately I've not been that approachable. SHIELD made Steve and I see a therapist. I know they have the best intentions, but they always bring the conversation to you. When they talk about you it's literally like salt poured on a wound. I wish they'd either say something humourous or something distracting, if not I wish they'd leave it alone and wouldn't say anything. It's just a constant reminder.

I miss you so goddamn much, Buck.

All I get from people, even Steve is "Are you doing okay?" or "Are you gonna be alright?" I wish they'd stop, I just want everything to stop. Like it would when I was with you. Nothing else seemed to matter. Now everything matters. I wish I could go back to the way things were before. When things were more simple. When it was just us three.

I'm getting so dramatic, if you saw this you'd laugh so hard. The Google is a amazing, you'd love all the fancy technology here. The one thing that The Google didn't tell me was what to do after I wrote the letter. Do I carry it around in my little pocket of sadness? Do I keep it locked up somewhere? Burn it?

Sighing, I put my pen down. I knew I had to get rid of the letter, I didn't want Steve to find it but I don't know. I didn't have the heart to get rid of it.

"That letter for me?" I whipped my head around, my eyes meeting his. "If it is, why don't we talk in person instead?"

"Hello, sir." I smiled, grabbing the letter and stuffing it in my pocket.

"How're you doing?"

"Spectacular." I replied, taking a couple of steps closer. "Steve's okay too, he's at the gym. He likes hitting things but he doesn't want to take it out on a person, it's kind of perfect for him."

"Well isn't that just dandy but, I don't think the gym is going to be needed anymore. Not for Steve, and hopefully not whatever you do in your spare time."

"I uh-" He took a couple of steps forward and handed me a file. The first word I read revealed everything I needed to know, 'Tesseract'.

"Howard Stark fished that out of the ocean when he was looking for you two. He thought what we think, the Tesseract could be the key to unlimited sustainable energy. That's something the world sorely needs."

"As interesting as this is, why are you telling me this? Did someone take it or something?" I guessed, questioning the man.

"He's called Loki. He's not from around here. There's a lot we'll have to bring you up to speed on if you're in. The world has gotten even stranger than you already know." Raising my eyebrows, I handed him back the file. "There's a debriefing package waiting for you back at your apartment, Steve is undoubtedly already there."

"So you want us to go get the tesseract back? That's what all this is about? Last time it didn't end so well."

"That's why you won't be alone." He smirked, walking away. "I hope to see you soon."

Sighing, I gathered my stuff together. Saying goodbye to Matilda, I left the library. Matilda was the lovely old lady who owned the library, after my tenth time in a row going there she'd make me a cup of tea. Then she'd bring me some biscuits and we started to talk. She's around the same age as me. Or at least she would be.