Forever in my heart

Chapter 13

I jumped up from the sofa hearing someone knocking furiously on my door. I had arrived back from California about an hour ago and was tired as hell. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stretched my arms feeling all my muscles pop out of my shirt. I slowly walked to the door as the pounding increased. I unlocked the door and pulled back the door feeling a fist make contact with my chest. It's Maya. Her eyes are red and she looks exasperated. She looks sad and like she has been crying making my heart ache in pain.
"Maya?" I ask as she pushes me away and into our home.
"What!" She yells walking towards the bedroom. I close the door and storm after her.
"Why the hell did you leave me?!" I yelled as she stopped walking.
"Why the hell did you go running to that whore!" Maya yelled as a fresh batch of tears escaped her eyes. Pictures of Sasha and I must've released.
"It was a fucking business meeting!" I yelled back tacking a step closer to her.
"Oh was it? You were just waiting for the right time to jump on her again huh?" Maya scoffed turning around and walking into the closet. I stormed after her and placed my hands firmly on her shoulders turning her around. She looked angry as I kept my grip on her arms and pushed her into the wall.
"What the fuck do you think this is huh? What the fuck happened to you!" I shout not caring about how loud I am or how hard I pushed her into the wall.
"I think that you love her, and I'll tell you what fucking happened," Maya yelled pushing me off her, "you changed! Where the hell did the Rahul that I fell so madly in love with go?!" Maya shouted.
"He's still here!"
"No he's not, he's gone." Maya scoffed pushing past me and grabbing a suitcase from the floor. I watched as she grabbed a bunch of her clothes and stormed out of my closet.
"Where the hell are you going!" I yelled scared.
"I'm leaving, because you love her. Because you've changed. Because I'm sick of fighting with you." Maya said stuffing her clothes in the suitcase and zipping it up.
"What?" I say my voice low and husky.
"Im leaving." Maya says putting the suitcase in the ground. I feel all the anger from my body evaporate as it's replaced by sadness. I've pushed Maya so far over the edge that she wants to leave me. She thinks I love Sasha, but she doesn't know how much I love her! And only her!
"Your not leaving," I say trying to sound confident but my words fail.
"Yes I am, and I don't want to be your wife anymore." Maya says turning to face me. Her eyes glistening with tears and her expression sad and angry. I feel everything in my body go numb and my mind stop working... the whole world felt as if it stopped. Why is Maya over reacting! I don't love Sasha! Never have! Never will!
"What..." my voice comes out as a whisper. I can see Maya's expressions soften a bit as she releases the handle of her suitcase.
"I'm tired of fighting, I was gifted a second life to live again... not fight. I'm sorry Rahul but I can't continue being your wife if there isn't pure honesty involved." She says as a flow of tears rush down her cheeks. I feel myself start moving towards her as she backs up, she walks right into the wall and I place my hands on each side of her barricading her in my arms.
"Don't leave, I'm telling you the truth, please don't leave!" I say as I feel a tear caress my cheek.
"Your not Rahul, your still attracted to her... I know you are." Maya sighs and I close my eyes hoping this is a dream. I open them again and realize this is not a dream.
"I don't love her, I love you Maya. I love you, I love you... god damn it I love you!" I shout slamming my hand down on the wall making Maya wince.
"You loved me," she says trying to push out of my grasp.
"Where will you go?" I ask keeping my arms up not letting her leave.
"I can figure that out on my own," she says with sass in her tone. She starts to push out of my arms and I grab her holding onto her arms tightly.
"Don't leave... don't leave please, I won't be able to live without you again... please don't leave me again Maya," I cry feeling like my world was ending all over again.
"Lets face it Rahul, we just don't love each other like we used to." Her voice cuts through my cries soft and sad.
"But I do love you, I've always loved you." I sob feeling feeling my knees give out as I make contact with the floor. I feel Maya place her hand on my shoulder making my hands instantly grab hers.
"Your successful, and I'm just going to come in the way with everything. I know you have feelings for Sasha it shows in the way you look at her. I'm younger then you now, your older and important... I'm just your past." She sighs put in a cold unsteady voice.
"Maya plead don't do this!" I plead as some tears fall from my eyes caressing my cheeks.
"You have to let me go Rahul." Maya says trying to wiggle her hand out of my tight grip.
"I can't let you go," I sob placing her hand and mine against my chest crying.
"Please, don't make me suffer in this marriage anymore... I was gifted a second life I don't want to spend it fighting." Maya says and I can tell she is crying too. I look at her and see tears gliding down her cheeks. I slowly stand up bringing her along with me.
"Fine Maya, push me away when I'm telling you the truth that I don't love Sasha. Divorce me and see how much love you lose. But don't think I don't love you, because I love you with every being in my body." I say releasing her hand and turning away from her. I feel hatred and disgust for myself. I feel angry that she doesn't know how much I love her.
"I'm sorry Rahul," Maya squeaks and I hear the wheels of the suitcase rolling away. I feel myself turn around and stomp after her, she is just getting through the door way when I grab her wrist spinning her around. She looks shocked by my sudden outburst and I wrap my arm around her waist while bringing my hand from her wrist then to her cheek then leaning forward placing a soft light kiss on her lips. I feel her slightly melting in my touch. Then she pushes me back and I stumble through the doorway.
"Goodbye Rahul." She whispers and turns to keep walking to wards the elevator. I watch as she enters and presses a button. I feel my feet start running towards the door as it starts closing. Her expressions staying exactly the same as the doors shut and I meet with the cold elevator doors. I slam my fist into the door and feel a tear fall down my cheek. I slowly turn around and walk back to the flat. My eyes stinging with tears. I slam the door shut behind me as I storm into the bathroom and right to the mirror. I look at myself and my eyes are red and puffy filled with sadness. I feel anger wash over me as I don't see the Rahul I was 7 years ago.
"Maya!" I shout letting my fist meet the mirror hearing the sound of glass shattering and falling into the sink. I slowly back up into the shower and press the 'on' button when my back meets contact with the wall. I cry softly as I slowly slide down the tiles and let the water run down my body, mixing with the blood that's gushing from my hand.